你好，還有 歡迎來到壯游 Hello, and welcome to The Grand Tour,
還有這輛蘭博基尼 胡拉坎·斯特拉托。 and this, the Lamborghini Huracan Sterrato.
與普通的 Huracan 不同， 被設計的 Unlike the normal Huracan, which was designed
很晚在市中心徘徊 晚上每小時九英里， to prowl round city centres late at night doing nine miles an hour,
這是為了 衝過沙漠 this was designed to blast across a desert
做了一百六十。 doing a hundred and sixty.
它有車頂架，它 得到了喇叭形的輪拱， It's got the roof racks, it's got the flared wheel arches,
它有加強的底面， 長行程懸掛。 it's got beefed-up undersides, long-travel suspension.
這是蘭博基尼 「盜賊英雄」。 It is the Lamborghini 'Rogue Hero'.
這不僅僅是蘭博基尼 參與沙漠襲擊行動。 And it's not just Lamborghini getting in on the desert raid act.
這，就是保時捷 911 達喀爾。 This, is the Porsche 911 Dakar.
它有四輪 驅動器、防滑板 It has four-wheel drive, skid plates
還有五十毫米的地面 比普通 911 的間隙更大。 and fifty millimetres more ground clearance than a regular 911.
就連摩根也想嘗試一下。 Even Morgan's having a go.
是的，這就是 CXT， 它也站在高蹺上。 Yup, this is the CXT and it too stands upon stilts.
它是可調節的 拉力賽規格減震器 It's got adjustable rally spec dampers
和一個外部防滾架。 and an external roll cage.
好的。 Nice.
所有這些車都是 當然非常巨大， All these cars are of course very tremendous,
但它們也非常不便宜。 but they're also very not cheap.
這輛保時捷重 173,000 磅。 The Porsche is a 173,000 pounds.
摩根是 204,000 The Morgan is 204,000
這是 250,000。 and this is 250,000.
這引起了我們的思考。 And that got us thinking.
我們能否建立一個 拉力襲擊車便宜嗎？ Could we build a rally raid car for less?
少了很多。 A lot less.
讓我們來一個 看看我們買了什麼。 Let's have a look at what we've bought.
我為此而去， 瑪莎拉蒂 GranCabrio, I went for this, a Maserati GranCabrio,
我剛剛付了錢 26,000 磅以下。 for which I paid just under 26,000 pounds.
理查德哈蒙德買了這個， Richard Hammond has bought this,
這是一輛阿斯頓·馬丁 DB9 V12 沃蘭特, it's an Aston Martin DB9 V12 Volante,
這花費了他 22,000 英鎊。 which cost him 22,000 pounds.
還有傑裡米·克拉克森， 這，捷豹 F-Type V6S， And Jeremy Clarkson, this, the Jaguar F-Type V6S,
25,000 英鎊。 25,000 pounds.
不用說， 我們剛剛收到一條短信 And needless to say, we've just had a text
來自威爾曼先生。 from Mr Wilman.
繼續。 Go on.
它說， It says,
「你現在將把你的 購買沙漠賽車手。 "You will now turn your purchases into desert racers.
「當你完成後，你會 到火車站報到 "When you finish, you will report to the railway station
「在楚姆鎮， 這是在毛裡塔尼亞。」 "in the town of Choum, which is in Mauritania."
毛裡塔尼亞在哪裡？ Where's Mauritania?
也許他拼錯了毛里求斯？ Perhaps he's misspelt Mauritius?
嗯，它不在任何地方。 Well, it isn't anywhere.
這不是一個真實的地方。 It's not a real place.
- 嗯，毛裡塔尼亞。 - 你在說什麼？ - Well, Mauritania. - What are you on about?
快點。 Come on.
「獅子，女巫， 和鏡子，」 "The Lion, the Witch, and the Looking Glass,"
「愛麗絲通過 衣櫃」，所有這些。 "Alice Through the Wardrobe," all of that.
你通過 衣櫃後面， You go through the back of the wardrobe,
你愉快地打招呼 當你經過時會說話的獅子， you say a cheery hello to the talking lion as you pass in,
你要留意 跑來跑去的人們 and you watch out for the people running about
用撲克牌 作為戰袍。 with playing cards on as tabards.
你有CS劉易斯 在那裡迴響。 You've got C.S. Lewis echoing around in there.
- 是的。 ——劉易斯·卡羅爾。 - Yes. - Lewis Carroll.
它們不是旅遊書。 They were not travel books.
你不 認為這個地方存在嗎？ You don't think this place exists?
沒有這樣的 毛裡塔尼亞！ There's no such place as Mauritania!
然而事實證明， 有一個地方，就是毛裡塔尼亞。 It turns out, however, there is such a place as Mauritania.
這是一名前法國人 西非殖民地。 It's a former French colony in West Africa.
這就是它的樣子。 And this is what it looks like.
這個幅員遼闊的國家的三分之二， Two thirds of this vast country,
它比 英國，已被埋葬... it's four times bigger than the UK, has been buried...
撒哈拉沙漠。 by the Sahara Desert.
這意味著對於 大多數情況下，這是一英里又一英里 Which means that for the most part, it is mile after mile
什麼都沒有... of nothing...
沒有人。 and nobody.
但是在這裡， But here,
在這個巨大的中間 過熱空海， in the middle of this gigantic sea of super-heated emptiness,
有一條鐵路線， there is a railway line,
它確實穿過了小 我們被告知要去報道的城鎮... and it does pass through the small town we've been told to report to...
楚姆。 Choum.
我聽說你會得到更多 在毛裡塔尼亞用你的錢。 I'm told you get a lot more for your money in Mauritania.
我以為會更多 色彩繽紛，還有會說話的動物。 I thought it'd be more colourful, with talking animals.
這是美好而安靜的。 It's nice and quiet.
- 不是嗎？ - 是的。 - Isn't it? - Yeah.
天氣太熱了，無法發出任何聲音。 It's too hot to make any noise.
真的很熱。 It's really hot.
- 46 度。 - 哦！ - 46 degrees. - Ooh!
雖然是乾熱。 It's a dry heat though.
- 別說，我討厭那樣。 - 我討厭人... - Don't say, I hate that. - I hate people...
就是太熱了！ It's just hot!
- 哦，有一家餐廳。 - 在哪裡？ - Ooh, there's a restaurant. - Where?
讓我們來一個... 哦，我們買不到啤酒。 Let's get a... Oh, we can't get a beer.
- 什麼？ - 乾燥的國家。 - What? - Dry country.
- 什麼？ - 毛裡塔尼亞很乾燥。 - What? - Mauritania's dry.
- 嚴重地？ - 這是穆斯林。 - Seriously? - It's Muslim.
什麼樣的童話 土地不提供杜松子酒嗎？ What kind of fairy-tale land doesn't serve gin?
我確實有一些輕度酒精 洗手液，如果有什麼好處的話。 I do have some mildly alcoholic hand sanitiser, if that's any good.
保持住這一點。 Keep hold of that.
我能說它有多好嗎 Can I just say how nice it is
回來表演The Grand 遊覽，真正的大遊覽。 to be back doing The Grand Tour, proper Grand Tour.
- 是的。 - 明白我的意思了嗎？ - Yeah. - Know what I mean?
是的。某處 塵土飛揚，在這種情況下，是虛構的。 Yeah. Somewhere dusty and in this case, imaginary.
這個男人來了嗎 在這輛貨車上做一些面板敲擊嗎？ Is this man coming to do some panel beating on this van?
我知道這是什麼。 I know what this is.
這是一輛貨車。它是 一輛非常破舊的貨車。 It's a van. It's a really old broken van.
威爾曼先生在我們離開之前說... Mr Wilman said before we left...
他說：「我提供了一輛備用車輛 因為如果你的一輛車出了問題。」 He said, "I've provided a backup vehicle for if one of your cars goes wrong."
他為什麼派了一輛貨車？ Why has he sent a van?
他說 這次旅行所需的一切 And he says everything we need for this trip
是在後面的 貨車。哦，已經開放了。 is in the back of the van. Oh, it's open.
你確定？你不 只是損害某人的生計嗎？ You are sure? You're not just nicking somebody's livelihood?
沒有。不，他說。他說。 Nope. No, he said. He said.
但它確實懇求 問題，你覺得怎麼樣 But it does beg the question, how do you suppose
我們的車將會得到...他 說他會幫我們送貨。 our cars are gonna get... He said he'd deliver them for us.
這輛貨車有 明顯是本地買的 The van had plainly been bought locally
我們是乘飛機到達的， and we'd arrived by air,
所以哈蒙德認為那裡 只能是一個可能的答案。 so Hammond reckoned there could only be one possible answer.
所以你認為火車正在行駛 帶著我們的車一起來這裡嗎？ So you think a train is going to come along here with our cars on it?
嗯，一列火車......這很可能 去看火車的地方，不是嗎？ Well, a train... This is a likely spot to see a train, isn't it?
是的，我會同意你的。 Yes, I'll grant you that.
是的。進出的唯一途徑是火車。 不然他們怎麼會到這裡來呢？ Yes. The only way in and out is train. How else are they gonna get here?
因為沒有 自動出發板 As there were no automated departure boards
告訴我們什麼時候 火車可能會到達， to tell us when a train might arrive,
我們坐下來等待。 we settled down for the wait.
你見過多少空的 這裡有塑料瓶裝水嗎？ Have you seen how many empty plastic bottles of water there are here?
許多。 Many.
看，一個...我 意思是二、三、四、五、六、 Look, one... I mean, two, three, four, five, six,
- 七，八，就在那裡，九，十。 - 是的。 - seven, eight, just there, nine, ten. - Yeah.
我會找到 製造商並直接殺死他們。 I would find the manufacturers and simply kill them.
雖然很嚴酷，但是很混亂 It's harsh, but it is a mess
他們將會 在這裡待很長時間了。 and they're going to be here for a long time.
- 永遠。 - 這是一種浪費。 - Forever. - It's a waste.
你並不經常需要等待 就在鐵軌旁的火車，是嗎？ It's not often you get to wait for a train just by the tracks, is it?
不。 No.
- 你不能在帕丁頓這樣做。 - 不。 - You couldn't do this in Paddington. - No.
如果它不來怎麼辦？ What if it doesn't come?
如果我們的車不在上面怎麼辦？ What if our cars aren't on it?
- 那裡。 - 在哪裡？ - There. - Where?
那裡。就是這樣。 一定是這樣了。 There. That's it. That's gotta be it.
你是對的。 Yes, you're right.
天哪，太巨大了！ God, it's enormous!
那是最大的 我見過的東西！ That is the biggest thing I've ever seen!
這是最大的 我見過的東西。 It is the biggest thing I've ever seen.
- 你能看到汽車嗎？ - 不。 - Can you see cars? - No.
我的身高足以看到鐵礦石。 I'm tall enough to see iron ore.
- 我可以看到一些... - 鐵礦石，鐵礦石。 - I can see bits of... - Iron ore, iron ore.
- 那是什麼？ - 人們。 - What's that? - People.
夥計們，那是警衛的貨車。 Chaps, that is the guard's van.
- 就這樣結束了。 - 看看前面是什麼... - That is the end. - Look what's in front...
- 在警衛車前面？ - 是的。看。 - In front of the guard's van? - Yes. Look.
你看，這是一個平板車 這是一種不同類型的馬車。 Look, that's a flatbed one, that's a different type of carriage.
- 這就像一張平板床。 - 上面有三件事。 - That's like a flatbed. - There's three things on it.
- 是的！ - 他們是汽車。 - Yeah! - They are the cars.
火車停了下來， The train came to a halt,
正如我們所假設的那樣 很快就會再次出發， and as we assumed it would be setting off again quite soon,
我們必須快速工作 讓我們的車下車。 we had to work quickly to get our cars off.
所以你會怎麼做？我不知道。 So what do you do? I've no clue.
通常會發生什麼 像這樣把汽車放在平板上， What normally happens with cars on a flatbed like this,
在霍恩比鐵路上，你是嗎 把它放在有坡道的壁板上 on a Hornby railway, is you put it in a siding with a ramp
然後你駕駛它們 上坡道並向下。 and then you drive them onto the ramp and down.
但他們已經擁有了 警衛的貨車在後面。 But they've got the guard's van behind.
是的。 Yes.
他不會出發 沒有他警衛的貨車，是嗎？ He's not gonna set off without his guard's van, is he?
不，所以一切都會順利，大概 回到……那裡一定有一個轉彎。 No, so that all goes, presumably back to... There must be a turn there.
- 我們不能推動它。 - 會有一個分流器。 - We can't push it. - There'll be a shunter.
這基本上是一個 全尺寸火車組。 This is basically a full-sized train set.
上面會有一個分流器 另一條線，這就是鐵路的運作方式。 There'll be a shunter on the other line, that's how railways work.
找到了分流器 火車上，詹姆斯與司機交談 Having found a shunter train, James spoke to its driver
用他最好的法語。 in his best French.
「布奧納 血清。Passo il oh il to oh shuntero？」 "Buona sera. Passo il oh il to oh shuntero?"
這聽起來有點... That sounds a bit...
那可能是詹姆斯來了 帶有調車發動機，完全豎立。 That could be James coming with a shunting engine, fully erect.
如果他開車的話，是的， 他會燒燬發動機的。 If he's driving it, yeah, he'll have blown the engine.
如果他在的話，他會 更加興奮。 If he's on it, he will be more aroused.
調車發動機。 Shunting engine.
- 他正在做！ - 我在調車台上！ - He's on it! - I'm on the shunter!
正確的三足 老者走了過去。 Properly three-legged old man went past.
哦是的！ Oh yes!
這是詹姆斯最好的一天嗎 梅的生活一下子就變了？ Is this the best day of James May's life all of a sudden?
他有一個 整個鐵路網。 He's got an entire railway network.
實際的全尺寸火車組。 Actual full-sized train set.
如果您曾經乘坐過霍恩比火車 設置後您就會確切地知道它是如何工作的。 If you've ever had a Hornby train set you'll know exactly how this works.
我們開始吧。 There we go.
噢，他來了， 他來了。 Oh, here he comes, here he comes.
當一名火車工作人員靠近時， With a train worker approaching,
現在輪到我了 推出法語。 it was now my turn to roll out the French.
先生。 Monsieur.
- 謝謝。 - 你你... - Merci. - Vous vous...
我是你 Je voudrais vous
你要... you to...
解開。 uncouple.
與此同時，詹姆斯來了。 And meanwhile, here comes James.
我是來看看的 你是哪一點... I was coming to see which bit you were...
我從未見過有人比他更快樂。 I've never seen anybody happier.
哦，他要走了。 加油，加油。 Oh, he's going. Go on, get on it.
- 逃跑！ - 恐怖！ - Run away! - Horror!
一。 One.
- 一一一。 - 開始了。 - One, one, one. - Here we go.
在方向盤上 他的藍色大分流器引擎， At the wheel of his big blue shunter engine,
詹姆斯推著我們的車， 警衛的貨車撞上了支線， James pushed our cars and the guard's van into a siding,
拆下貨車... detached the car wagon...
那麼現在，前鋒。鬆開剎車。 So now, forwards. Release brake.
...然後重新連接 警衛的貨車到火車， ...and then reattached the guard's van to the train,
其中，承擔了更多 各位乘客，再次出發吧。 which, having taken on more passengers, set off again.
再見。 Au revoir.
-再見。 -再見，我的朋友。 - Au revoir. - Au revoir, mes amis.
隨著夕陽西下，我們 然後不得不把我們的車從馬車上卸下來。 With the sun setting, we then had to get our cars off the wagon.
這意味著啟動 Which meant firing up
車站非常 又舊又壞的伸縮臂叉裝機 the station's extremely old and broken telehandler
並運用我的農耕技能。 and deploying my farming skills.
還有一點點……停下來。 Tiny bit more... stop.
這是我們第一次 曾經嘗試過正確地做某事嗎？ Is this the first time we've ever tried to do something properly?
我們還沒有做到。 We haven't done it yet.
微小的 多一點。就是這樣。 Tiny bit more. That's it.
然後我開始 檢索另外兩個。 I then set about retrieving the other two.
我想你的車可能 比我重一點吧，詹姆斯。 I think your car might be heavier than mine, James.
你下去吧。向下。 Down you go. Down.
等我清楚了再告訴我。 Tell me when I'm clear.
- 我想你沒事。 - 這樣就可以了 - I think you're all right. - That'll do.
我們已經做到了。 We've done it.
我們都有了 三輛車進入毛裡塔尼亞。 We've got all three cars into Mauritania.
第二天早上，之後 短暫而炎熱、不喝酒的睡眠， The next morning, after a short and hot, drink-free sleep,
我們聚集在一起 檢查我們的修改。 we assembled to examine our modifications.
從我的捷豹 F-Type 開始。 Starting with my Jaguar F-Type.
我有點失望 如果我誠實的話。 I'm a bit disappointed if I'm honest.
還沒有解決 和我想像的一樣。 It hasn't worked out quite how I imagined.
你想像了什麼？ What did you imagine?
嗯，你知道 在上世紀70年代和80年代， Well, you know in the 70s and 80s,
- 孩子們，當我說孩子們……我們。 - 我們。是的。 - kids, when I say kids... us. - Us. Yeah.
你會買喇叭形輪 為您的護送拱門 You'd buy flared wheel arches for your Escort
然後你就無力承擔 買足夠大的輪子來裝滿它們。 and then you couldn't afford to buy big enough wheels to fill them.
是的，最終結果是 看起來很荒謬。 Yes, net result it looks ridiculous.
當你繞到後面時... When you come round the back...
大約是 後面18英尺寬。 It's roughly 18-feet-wide at the back.
如果我沒有打擾的話 與輪... If I hadn't have bothered with the wheel ar...
為什麼要加輪拱 在？你沒有輪子來填充它們。 Why put the wheel arches on? You haven't got wheels to fill them.
儘管一切， Despite everything,
它仍然是「Jaaaag」。 it's still a "Jaaaag".
- 那挺好的。 - 它實際上說的是「Jaaaag」。 - That's good. - It actually says "Jaaaag".
我已經換徽章了 I've changed the badge.
你已經改變了「baaaadge」。 You've changed the "baaaadge".
然後我就有了 引擎蓋上的喇叭嘴 And then I've got the horn bill on the bonnet
因為我已經舉起 空氣過濾起來。 coz I've lifted the air filters up.
是的。 Yeah.
然後我就去了 Stratos 輕型背包。 Then I've gone for the Stratos light pack.
你忙著解釋 你的醜寶寶，不是嗎？ You're busy explaining your ugly baby, aren't you?
這些都是美學。 These are aesthetics.
是的，說到美學， 哈蒙德，你的處境非常非常如履薄冰。 Yes, and when it comes to aesthetics, Hammond, you're on very, very thin ice.
- 其實你是。 - 稍等一下。 - You are actually. - Hold on a moment.
不，沒有「堅持」 「那一刻」，你帶來了一輛地鐵出租車。 No, there is no 'hold on a moment', you've brought a Metro cab.
你想知道它是什麼嗎？ Do you wanna know what it is?
這是一輛阿斯頓 馬丁DB9??，毀了。 It's an Aston Martin DB9, ruined.
『毀滅者』是什麼 你應該稱呼它。 'The Ruined' is what you should call it.
我的已經輕度損壞了 你的完全毀了。 Mine is mildly spoiled, yours is totally ruined.
噪音，噪音，噪音。 Noise, noise, noise.
頭條新聞：這是一輛阿斯頓 馬丁，你可以住在裡面。 Headlines: It's an Aston Martin you can live in.
那是一個帳篷，它 折疊起來，就是一座房子。 That is a tent, it folds out, it's a house.
我住在1號， 阿斯頓·馬丁街。 I live at number 1, Aston Martin Street.
- 那是一個帳篷？ - 那是一個帳篷。 - That's a tent? - That's a tent.
這個很漂亮，看起來 像鯊魚一樣，看起來很隱秘。 This is beautiful, it looks like a shark, it looks stealthy.
對不起... Sorry...
它充滿了潛力和 這種潛力就是生活在其中。 It's filled with potential and that potential is to live in it.
以及你為何給予 是碳纖維胸嗎？ And why have you given it carbon fibre breasts?
因為我已經養了 前面的進氣口。 Because I've raised the air intakes at the front.
哦，所以它是一樣的 我的喇叭帳安排。 Oh, so it's the same as my horn bill arrangement.
是的，所以那就是 那在做什麼。 Yeah, so that's what that's doing.
然後我提出了 暫停。 And then I've raised the suspension.
- 你已經有了你的照明設備。 - 夠了。 - You've got your lighting rig. - That's enough.
我們去看看我的車... We will go and look at my car...
- 我不想談論你的車。 - 不，你知道。 - I don't want to talk about your car. - No, you do.
- 不，我不。 - 這邊走。 - No I don't. - This way.
做得好， 詹姆斯，這是毫無疑問的 Well done, James, that is unquestionably
- 一輛好看的車。 - 確實如此。 - a good-looking car. - It does.
你甚至已經 在上面放上漂亮的條紋。 You've even put nice stripes on it.
我有。 I have.
我從來沒有 喜歡這輛車的外觀。 I've never liked the look of this car.
但現在你做到了。 But now you do.
這實際上是改進了。 That actually is improved.
你在哪裡...怎麼了 你的空氣過濾器裝好了嗎？ Where's your... How have you got your air filters up?
實際上 引擎蓋不同。 Actually the bonnet is different.
這是一種 MC 閥蓋的復製品 This is a sort of facsimile of the MC bonnet
如果你還記得 巨大的中置發動機超級跑車 if you remember the gigantic mid-engine super car
它有額外的通風口 and it has extra vents in it
它那裡有一個插槽。 and it has a slot there.
這就像聖誕節的早晨 你得到了比我更好的禮物。 This is like Christmas morning and you got a better present than me.
我感覺不太好。 I don't feel very good.
就是這樣。 It's exactly what it is.
我很生氣你的車 看起來比我的車好。 I'm so cross that your car looks better than my car.
- 嗯，當然可以。 - 它看起來和我的一樣好。 - Well, of course it does. - It looks damn near as good as mine.
- 防滾架是怎麼回事？ - 萬一翻車了。 - And what's with the roll cage? - In case it rolls over.
哦，堅持住。 Oh, hang on.
啊哈！ Aha!
這裡是... Here it is...
- 文本。 - 威爾曼先生發來的短信。 - Text. - Text from Mr Wilman.
繼續。 Go on.
「你開車穿過沙漠 過去是這樣，但這一次是最重要的， "You have driven across deserts in the past, but this is the big one,
「這裡是撒哈拉沙漠， 世界上最大的沙漠。 "this is the Sahara, the biggest desert in the world.
「你現在要開車 跨越一千英里 "And you will now drive across it for a thousand miles
「去塞內加爾的海灘 巴黎-達喀爾曾經是終點站。」 "to the beach in Senegal where the Paris-Dakar used to finish."
等一下，我們是 參加巴黎達喀爾比賽嗎？ Wait a minute, we are doing the Paris-Dakar?
我們是...這是 男孩自己的夢想。 We are... This is boy's own dream.
其實比那更好 It's actually better than that,
因為我們不必這樣做 來自巴黎的無聊事，我們只是在做…… because we don't have to do the boring bit from Paris, we're just doing...
荒漠令人興奮 你想做的事。 The deserty exciting bits you want to do.
- 巴黎達喀爾賽的精彩片段。 - 這真是史詩般的。 - The best bits of the Paris-Dakar. - That's quite epic.
——那是傳說。 - 先生們，先生們。 - That is legend. - Gentlemen, gentlemen.
這可能有一些東西 為什麼巴黎達喀爾 This might have something to do with why the Paris-Dakar
不再發生在 世界的這一部分， no longer happens in this part of the world,
因為還有更多。 because there's more.
「您目前處於 外交部紅區。 "You are currently in a Foreign Office red zone.
「政府說 不能排除恐怖主義 "The government says terrorism cannot be ruled out
「越過西部邊境 撒哈拉，正在發生一場小戰爭 "and over the border in Western Sahara, there's a small war going on
「分離主義者之間 和摩洛哥人。 "between separatists and the Moroccans.
「我們甚至不得不警告摩洛哥人 國防部關於我們在這裡的存在 "We've even had to warn the Moroccan Defence Ministry about our presence here
「以防他們認為我們的乘員車輛 是攻擊力量和攻擊， "in case they think our crew vehicles are an assault force and attack,
「所以你要好好表現。」 "so behave yourselves."
有了這個 警告在我們耳邊響起， With that warning ringing in our ears,
我們啟動了引擎... we fired up our engines...
只知道要到達喀爾， 我們必須繼續向西南方向行駛， And knowing only that to get to Dakar, we had to keep heading south-west,
陷入撒哈拉沙漠。 plunged into the Sahara.
450馬力， 450 horsepower,
開著阿斯頓參加達喀爾比賽。 doing the Dakar in an Aston.
儘管哈蒙德充滿熱情， Despite Hammond's enthusiasm,
毫無疑問，我們的 汽車面臨著一項艱巨的任務。 there was no doubt that our cars faced a daunting task.
因為他們真的 還沒有懷上 Because they really hadn't been conceived
做這種事。 to do this kind of thing.
我們進行了輕微修改 超級名模奪得跆拳道冠軍。 We've brought lightly modified supermodels to a kickboxing championship.
關於我的車的事 是的，它實際上開始了生命 Thing about my car is, it actually started life
當瑪莎拉蒂 曾是法拉利的一部分， when Maserati was part of Ferrari,
但後來半途而廢 通過其發展， but then halfway through its development,
菲亞特擁有全部 很多，決定瑪莎拉蒂 Fiat, who owned the whole lot, decided that Maserati
應該是阿爾法羅密歐的一部分。 should be part of Alfa Romeo.
於是瑪莎拉蒂開始了 再次使用 So Maserati started again and used
一個切碎的 Quattroporte 來做這個。 a chopped-up Quattroporte to make this.
F型 有點亂七八糟。 The F-Type was a bit of a hotchpotch.
它開始於 XJ轎車的生活 It started out in life as an XJ saloon
然後他們把它切掉 下來製作XK， and then they cut it down to make the XK,
然後他們把它砍下來 再次製作F-Type， then they cut it down again to make the F-Type,
所以這確實是一個削減 關上一關。 so it's really a cut and shut of a cut and shut.
發動機有點 也弄亂了混雜 The engine's a bit of a mangled up mishmash as well
因為他們想要一輛V6 because they wanted a V6
但無力開發 他們自己的，所以他們得到了他們的V8 but couldn't afford to develop their own, so they got their V8
剛剛切碎 兩個氣缸。 and just chopped two cylinders off it.
我們到了，V6。 And there we are, V6.
有用！我已經 說實話，確實如此。 It works! And I've gotta be honest, it does.
尤其是擁有超級 充電器，您可以聽到。 Especially with a super charger, which you can hear.
我的車實際上是這樣設計的 在捷豹設計中心 My car was actually styled at Jaguar's design centre
在辦公室的一角 真的，在窗簾後面。 in a corner of the office behind a curtain, genuinely.
然後就被放在一起了 使用相當多的福特零件。 And then it was put together using quite a lot of Ford-based parts.
但它仍然是阿斯頓·馬丁， But it is still an Aston Martin,
許多人認為這是 第一個真正的阿斯頓·馬丁 and many feel it's the first proper Aston Martin
從舊的 DB 時代開始。 since the old DB days.
哦，衛星導航醒了。 Oh, sat-nav's woken up.
就在南邊 顯然是曼徹斯特。 Just south of Manchester, apparently.
哦，看看這個。沙丘！ Ooh, look at this. Dunes!
正宗的撒哈拉。 Proper Sahara.
沙丘是出了名的危險。 Dunes are notoriously dangerous.
所以我們決定搞砸。 So we decided to muck about.
哦耶。我們不是流氓 英雄。我們是三王。 Oh, yeah. We are not the rogue heroes. We are the three kings.
感謝我的 USB 連接性，我們有配樂。 And thanks to my USB connectivity, we have a soundtrack.
? 如果你現在離開我 ? ♪ If you leave me now ♪
? 你會帶走 我最大的一部分? ♪ You'll take away the biggest part of me ♪
? 哦，不，寶貝， 請不要走? ♪ Ooh, no, baby, please don't go ♪
? 如果你現在離開我 ? ♪ And if you leave me now ♪
? 你會帶走 我的心? ♪ You'll take away the very heart of me ♪
? 哦，不，寶貝， 請不要走? ♪ Ooh, no, baby, please don't go ♪
? 哦，女孩，我只是 希望你留下來? ♪ Ooh, girl, I just want you to stay ♪
哦，天哪！ Oh, f... ing hell!
啊，別偷工減料。 Ah, don't cut the corners.
那裡有一個重要提示。 There's a top tip there.
不好了。不好了。 Oh no. Oh no.
我認為我的空調 剛剛收拾好行李。我真的認為確實如此。 I think my air-conditioning just packed up. I genuinely think it did.
呵！哦。 Ho! Oh.
這是一個令人難以置信的腐爛 有點運氣。我的正在工作。 That is an unbelievably rotten bit of luck. Mine's working.
是什麼 那裡的溫度？ What is the temperature out there?
48度。 48 degrees.
天啊。 Holy cow.
嗯... Um...
發動機溫度高。 High engine temp.
停止。 Stop.
我的正在講述 我立即停止。 Mine is telling me to stop immediately.
天哪。 Good God.
你好。 Hi.
啊。 Ah.
看起來有什麼麻煩， 先生？有一點麻煩，是嗎？ What seems to be the trouble, sir? Having a spot of bother, are we?
很多都可以 以此解釋。 A lot of it can be explained by that.
哦是的。 Oh, yes.
- 你那裡有什麼？ - 粉絲。 - What have you got there? - A fan.
正確的。 Right.
來自彼得·瓊斯。 From Peter Jones.
真的停了 在那裡工作。 It really has stopped working in there.
這就是我 想知道是不是腰帶丟了。 That's what I'm wondering, if it's lost the belt.
- 那是什麼？ - 那是冷卻劑， - What's that? - That's coolant,
我懷疑，那就是 可能會從這裡出來。 I suspect, that's probably come out of here.
而且很奇怪，因為 它說它是手工建造的。 And it's weird, cos it says it's hand built.
- 是的，我想... - 這意味著做得非常仔細。 - Yeah, I think... - Which means done really carefully.
「手工打造 在英國。」 "Handbuilt in England."
- 在英國手工製作。 - 那就是問題所在。 - Handbuilt in England. - That's the problem.
- 這就是為什麼... - 就在那裡。 - That's why... - There it is.
事情仍然沒有解決。 It's still off the dial.
你不能只是坐在那裡。 你必須得到... You can't just sit there. You're going to have to get...
我將不得不讓 很酷，這就是我能做的。 I'm going to have to let it cool, that's all I can do.
我不能碰任何東西。 I can't touch anything.
- 你必須把它修好。 - 為什麼你不能碰它？ - You've got to mend it. - Why can't you touch it?
因為天氣很熱。 Because it's hot.
所以你要等它冷卻 下來，然後取出發動機。 So you wait for it to cool down, then take the engine out.
永遠不會變涼 向下。49度。 It'll never cool down. It's 49 degrees.
它就在 儀表頂部。 It's right at the top of the gauge.
不不不。外部的 溫度。 No, no, no. External temperature.
呃... Uh...
63. 63.
- 什麼，那是華氏度？ - 華氏度，是的。 - What, that's Fahrenheit? - Fahrenheit, yes.
- 嗯，這不是 60。 - 那是一個夏天... - Well, it's not 60. - That's a summer's...
這認為是在諾丁漢。 This thinks it's in Nottingham.
確實如此，看看。 It does, look.
63度 華氏度，在諾丁漢。 It's 63 degrees Fahrenheit and it's in Nottingham.
它就是這麼想的。 That's what it thinks.
那麼，我們要做什麼？ So, what are we going to do?
鑒於哈蒙德 有房子有車 Given that Hammond had a house and a car
相信它是在 東米德蘭茲在一個美好的春日， which believed it was in the East Midlands on a nice spring day,
我決定不這樣做 把我的扇子給他。 I decided not to give him my fan.
然後我們就離開了。 And then we left.
好的，西特雷普。我們已經做了15分鐘 旅行和我們兩個人仍在移動。 OK, sitrep. We've done 15 minutes of travel and two of us are still moving.
幸運的是，我工作了 很快就找出了問題所在。 Mercifully, I worked out what was wrong quite quickly.
我以為的這種液體 來自發動機的冷卻液 This fluid that I thought was coolant from the engine
已經煮沸的 過來並出來 that had boiled over and come out
不是發動機冷卻液。 這是動力轉向液。 isn't engine coolant. It's power steering fluid.
它是從那裡出來的。 It's come out of there.
那只是變得又熱又沸騰，因為 發動機艙裡太熱了。 That just got hot and boiled because it was so hot in the engine bay.
我需要散熱。 I need to get heat out.
對了，威爾曼先生的備用貨車。 Right, Mr Wilman's backup van.
一定要有工具。 There must be tools.
哦。 Ooh.
真的嗎？天哪，我希望 我不需要那個。 Really? God, I hope I don't need that.
哦，堅持住。工具？正確的。 Oh, hang on. Tools? Right.
哦。哦，這就是我的原因 疼痛。我比你更痛苦。 Oh. Oh, that's causing me pain. It hurts me more than you.
那裡。 There.
請開始。 Please start.
是的。我已經給了你空氣。 Yes. And I've given you air.
還有另外一個 我可以做一些事情來幫助冷卻發動機， There was one other thing I could do to help cool the engine,
但這是難以想像的。 but it was unimaginable.
我不想這樣做。 我必須這麼做。 I don't want to do it. I'm going to have to do it.
把暖氣調大， Turn the heating up,
因為那實際上會很熱 空氣從發動機艙下方排出 because that will actually pull hot air out from under the engine bay
並把它交給我。 and deliver it to me.
哦，是的，現在很熱。 Oh, yeah, that is hot now.
啊。 Argh.
前方， Up ahead,
從那以後我就再沒有單獨感受到過這種感覺 詹姆斯和我開車去了北極。 I hadn't felt this alone since James and I drove to the North Pole.
毛裡塔尼亞空無一人。 完全空了。看它。 Mauritania is empty. Totally empty. Look at it.
沒有人來這裡。 No one comes here.
當我們拿到拍攝許可時， When we got the filming permit,
是58號。 第58期拍攝許可證 it was number 58. The 58th filming permit
這個國家有 自1960年起發行。 this country has issued since 1960.
那是63年了。 That's 63 years.
他們只發出了 58張拍攝許可證。 They've only issued 58 filming permits.
哈蒙德，你回來了。 Hammond, you're back.
在引擎蓋上打孔 Made holes in the bonnet
我帶著加熱器跑步 在。我的壽命不多了。 and I'm running with the heater on. I don't have long to live.
哦，我不喜歡那樣。 Ooh, I don't fancy that.
我們繼續前進 與我們的袋中煮同事 We continued onwards with our boil-in-the-bag colleague
直到我們口渴為止 發動機需要汽油。 until our thirsty engines needed petrol.
哪個，因為撒哈拉 沒有很多服務站， Which, because the Sahara doesn't have many service stations,
意思是靠邊停車加油 威爾曼先生提供的鮑澤。 meant pulling over at a fuel bowser that Mr Wilman had provided.
你怎麼有 自己處於那種狀態？ How have you got yourself in that state?
我們有……我們有安全帶標記。 We got... we got seat belt marks.
- 我在阿加。字面意思是阿加。 - 哦親愛的。 - I'm in an Aga. Literally an Aga. - Oh dear.
- 我可以和你們兩個說句話嗎？ - 什麼？ - Can I just have a word with you two? - What?
什麼？ What?
夥計們，在我們出發之前 威爾曼先生說， Chaps, before we set off, Mr Wilman said,
我們可以上演嗎，讓我們 誠實的、人為的事故？是的。 could we stage a, let's be honest, contrived accident? Yeah.
油罐車爆炸的地方。 Where the fuel tanker blows up.
什麼？ The what?
因為他希望我們擁有 「哦，不，我們被困在沙漠裡了 Because he'll want us to have "oh, no, we're stuck in the desert
「沒有燃料」恐慌。 "with no fuel" panics.
- 電視危險。 - 就這樣吧。 - TV jeopardy. - There you go.
不，不，不，不，不。他想要爆炸 放入節目的預告片中。 No, no, no, no, no. He wants an explosion to put in the trailer of the show.
- 啊對。 - 我對此投反對票。 - Oh, right. - I'd vote no to that.
- 我也願意。 - 我會投反對票。 - I would as well. - I'd vote no.
- 那是奶酪。 - 我不想把它炸毀。 - That's cheese. - I don't want to blow it up.
- 而且他希望我們這樣做。 - 正確的。 - Plus he wants us to. - Right.
所以讓我們照顧一下 這與我們的生活有關。 So let's look after this with our lives.
這是最珍貴的 我們擁有的東西。 It's the most precious thing we have.
對了，我吃飽了。可能？ Right, I'm full. May?
- 是的？ - 她是你的了。 - Yes? - She's all yours.
詹姆斯，你要去哪裡？ James, where are you going?
我已經很長了 我們可以在這裡解決。 I'm getting a length on so we can get it round here.
你能按一下按鈕嗎 到，嗯，它在下面嗎？ Could you press the button to, um, it's down there?
- 有一點... - 哦，是的，明白了。 - It's got a little... - Oh, yeah, got it.
- 是的，它就在那裡。 - 在那。 - Yeah, it's there. - It's there.
- 我們可以看到這一點。 - 它有一個汽油泵... - We can see that. - It's got a petrol pump on...
- 你能按一下嗎？ - 是的。 - Can you press it? - Yeah.
- 還要別的嗎？ - 是的，你能按一下嗎？ - Anything else? - Yeah, can you press it?
- 呃，我，是的，我，我... - 請你按一下好嗎？ - Uh, I, yeah, I, I... - Would you press it, please?
- 我已經做到了。 - 他確實按下了。 - I've done it. - He did press it.
- 他沒有。 - 他做到了。 - He didn't. - He did.
除了我之外。 Apart from I did.
- 你沒有。 - 我剛剛又按了一次。 - You didn't. - I just pressed it again.
你能把 請打開點火開關並按下好嗎？ Could you turn the ignition on and press it, please?
哦，這意味著兩件事。 Oh, that means two things.
就這樣吧。 There you go.
所以，他們是 非常好的指示。 So, they're really good instructions.
- 噢！ - 我警告過你，詹姆斯。 - Ow! - I warned you, James.
這是全城最火的事 It's the hottest thing in the...
噢！啊! 啊! Ow! Ah! Ah!
已填滿 來自非常烤麵包的燃料鮑瑟， Having filled up from the very toasty fuel bowser,
我們繼續前進。 we moved on.
很快，我們遇到了 我們的第一個重大地質問題。 And pretty soon, we encountered our first big geological problem.
兄弟們，我有點小 對此有點不安... Chaps, I'm a little bit unnerved by that...
無盡的懸崖面 endless cliff face
在我們前面。 in front of us.
我的意思是，有 看不到盡頭。 I mean, there is no end in sight.
沒有盡頭 那座山脈的。 There is no end in sight of that mountain range.
混蛋。 Bugger.
如果有人走了 費心製作這首歌， If somebody's gone to the bother of making this track,
他們不只是建造一條軌道 懸崖底部，會嗎？ they wouldn't just build a track to the bottom of the cliff, would they?
很快，我們發現 弄清楚為什麼會有曲目。 Soon, we found out why there was a track.
為什麼該死的地獄會 有人修建隧道 Why the bloody hell would somebody build a tunnel
在中間 撒哈拉沙漠？ in the middle of the Sahara Desert?
可能是一個礦井 為了一些可怕的事情。 Probably a mine for something scary.
挖礦什麼？灰塵？ Mining what, though? Dust?
哈蒙德, 裡面不會有什麼可怕的。 Hammond, there'll be nothing scary in it.
嘿！詹姆斯，我們可以 在這裡舉行比賽。 Hey! James, we could have a race down here.
這是一個優秀的 我的想法，我不想參加。 That's an excellent idea and I don't want to take part.
你不覺得 這是個好主意嗎？ Don't you think that's a good idea?
誰能達到最高速度 然後在撞擊前剎車... Who can reach the highest speed and then brake before hitting...
哦，不，你不能那樣做。 Oh, no, you can't do that.
- 哦，該死，該死！夥計們，停下來。 - 為什麼？ - Oh, shit, shit! Guys, stop. - Why?
他們是蝙蝠。 They're bats.
有很多蝙蝠。 出去。現在出去，大家都出去。 There's a lot of bats. Out. Out now, everybody out.
蝙蝠並不危險。 Bats aren't dangerous.
蝙蝠不是……那是 只是...你想到的是史酷比。 Bats aren't... That's just... You're thinking of Scooby-Doo.
- 你聽說過埃博拉病毒嗎？ - 是的。 - You've heard of Ebola? - Yes.
你從你的身上流血 眼睛，你的鼻子，你所有的竅門， You bleed from your eyes, your nose, all your orifices,
- 他們全部。然後你就死得很快。 - 是的。 - all of them. And then you die quickly. - Yes.
但時間剛好夠 你的家人來到你的床邊 But just enough time for your family to get to your bedside
然後你爆炸了 用受感染的血液沐浴他們。 and then you explode, showering them with infected blood.
大多數專家都認為它是有生命的 Most experts agree it lives
在西非的蝙蝠中。 in bats in West Africa.
我們在西非。 And we're in West Africa.
- 但我們現在有一個問題。 - 並不真地。我們不去隧道。 - But we now have a problem. - Not really. We don't go in the tunnel.
嗯，不，我們有 去隧道裡。 Well, no, we have to go in the tunnel.
我們必須進入隧道 我們必須開得非常快。 We have to go in the tunnel and we have to drive incredibly quickly.
不，不是快得令人難以置信。 No, not incredibly quickly.
你會把事情搞砸的。 You'll kick stuff up.
可能是在蝙蝠中 鳥糞，你說嗎？ It could be in bat guano, did you say?
- 可能是...是的，沒有人... - 那是蝙蝠糞便。 - It could be... Yeah, nobody... - That's bat poo.
是的，蝙蝠糞便。哪個 會在地板上。 Yeah, bat poo. Which would be on the floor.
確切地。你會踢它 用你的輪子去... Exactly. You'll kick it up with your wheels by going...
一次一個。 快得令人難以置信。 One at a time. Incredibly quickly.
對了，把車窗打開。 Right, windows up.
空氣再循環 所以它需要空氣 Air on recirculation so it takes the air
在機艙中並發送 它回到機艙。 in the cabin and sends it back into the cabin.
我不想要埃博拉病毒。 I don't want Ebola.
好的，我來了。 Right, here I go.
那挺好的。 文檔。文檔。 That's good. Doucement. Doucement.
不！ No!
- 還有埃博拉病毒。 - 逃跑。 - And there's the Ebola. - Run away.
哦，有一隻蝙蝠！ Oh, there's a bat!
一隻蝙蝠從窗戶飛過去了！ A bat went past the window!
我感染了埃博拉病毒！ I've got Ebola!
這該死的事情要持續多久？ How long is this bloody thing?
哦，這就結束了！ Oh, there's the end!
放鬆，放鬆，放鬆。 Relax, relax, relax.
噢，天啊！ Oh, Christ!
什麼... What the...
該死的地獄 這一切都是關於什麼？ the bloody hell's that all about?
- 進去。以合理的速度。 - 不要製造，不要踢 - Going in. At a sensible speed. - Don't make, don't kick up
- 一堆灰塵。 - 我不會揚起灰塵。 - a load of dust. - I'm not going to kick up dust.
拉屎。 Shit.
所以這就是邊界 與西撒哈拉。 So that's the border with Western Sahara.
哈蒙德，哈蒙德，哈蒙德。 Hammond, Hammond, Hammond.
理查德·哈蒙德, 你能聽到我嗎？ Richard Hammond, can you hear me?
哦，有 光，有光！ Oh, there's light, there's light!
- 停下來，停下來，停下來！ - 該死的！ - Stop, stop, stop! - Bloody hell!
啊啊！ Aaggh!
準確備份 你的輪子在哪裡。 Back up exactly where your wheels are.
上面寫著「地雷」。 It says "mines".
是的，你正處於雷區。 Yes, you're in a minefield.
準確備份 你的輪子在哪裡， Back up exactly where your wheels are,
因為我們知道那裡 那裡沒有地雷。 'cause we know there are no mines there.
你要開車 越過鐵絲網， You're going to drive over the barbed wire,
這可能會 給你刺一下， which will probably give you a puncture,
但是放鬆一點。 but relax on that.
正確的。 Right.
你很安全。 You're safe.
- 雷區。 - 我知道。 - Minefield. - I know.
那就是西撒哈拉。 That is Western Sahara.
你覺得嗎 真的是雷區嗎？ Do you think it really is a minefield?
好吧，這就是你的事情 一般採用標誌詞。 Well, it's the kind of thing you generally take a sign's word for.
如果上面寫著「小心 毛毛蟲」, If it said "Caution caterpillars",
我想去看看。 I'd go and have a look.
但是，我的意思是，你只需要 掛個牌子，不是嗎？ But, I mean, you only need to put the sign up, don't you?
是的，但你可能有 把地雷也放進去。 Yeah, but you might have put the mines in as well.
是啊 但如果我是他們 我只是把標誌貼出來。 Yeah, but if I were them, I'd just put the sign up.
- 你很懶而且沒有地雷。 - 是的。 - You're lazy and don't have any mines. - Yes.
沒有，但在我心裡，有 那裡沒有地雷。 No, but in my mind, there aren't any mines there.
- 我們去慢跑嗎？ - 不。 - Shall we go for a little jog? - No.
到底是什麼... What the hell is...
- 那是什麼？ - 這是一個雷區。 - What's that? - It's a minefield.
- 雷區。 - 哈蒙德參與其中。 - A minefield. - Hammond's been in it.
- 你參與過嗎？ - 他衝破了柵欄。 - You've been in it? - He crashed through the fence.
我們現在遇到了問題。 We now had a problem.
擺在我們面前的是我們必須要做的事情 假設是一個真正的雷區。 In front of us was what we had to assume was an actual minefield.
雖然我們身後有一個 隧道裡充滿了受感染的蝙蝠糞便。 While behind us was a tunnel full of infected bat dung.
我不想回去 穿過埃博拉病毒的隧道。 I don't want to go back through the tunnel of Ebola.
即使我們確實回到過去 那邊，有那個巨大的懸崖面。 And even if we do go back that way, there's that massive cliff face.
是的，但這是一個問題 去嘗試並克服。 Yes, but that's a problem to try and overcome.
那是東西 去嘗試解決。 That's something to try and solve.
- 那不是。你無法解決它。 - 是的，所以，我們別無選擇。 - That isn't. You can't solve it. - Yes, so, we have no choice.
- 這就是導航。 - 你說得對。你是絕對正確的。 - That's navigation. - You're right. You're absolutely right.
我們沒有……我們不能…… We have no... We cannot...
- 停止！ - 不在雷區！ - Stop! - Not in the minefield!
停止！ Stop!
- 停止！ - 停止！ - Stop! - Stop!
威爾曼可能會得到他的拖車。 Wilman might get his trailer.
不，好吧，你打算 他站在這裡的時候？ No, well, are you gonna stand here while he does?
不，我要後退。 No, I'm gonna back up.
油罐車 The fuel tanker
消失了 瞄準而不引爆。 disappeared out of sight without detonating.
但事實並非如此 改變我們的想法。 But that didn't change our minds.
所以，我們轉身...... So, we turned round...
然後就回去了 穿過隧道。 And went back through the tunnel.
我們怎麼樣 會克服這個嗎？ How are we going to get over that?
我不知道怎麼辦 我們會克服的。 I don't know how we're going to get over.
幾個小時後，我們 最終找到了一條崎嶇的道路， After many hours, we eventually found a rough track,
看起來可能會發生 到懸崖頂部。 which looked like it might go to the top of the escarpment.
哦，這有點顛簸。 Ooh, this is bumpy, this bit.
是的。 Yeah.
來吧，賈格。你可以這樣做。 Come on, Jag. You can do this.
這輛車其實是 讓我驚訝。 This car is actually surprising me.
我想這是因為 它很輕，不是嗎，捷豹？ I suppose it's 'cause it's light, isn't it, the Jag?
嗯，這使得 是的，差別很大。 Well, that makes a huge difference, yeah.
我想我的可能重 現在超過兩噸。 I think mine probably weighs more than two tonnes now.
快點。 Come on.
哦！ Oh!
哦。 Oh.
哦，該死的！ Oh, bloody hell!
天啊，加油！ God, come on!
胡說。 Bollocks.
他開著捷豹來了。 Here he comes, in the Jaguar.
你將會 撞到那塊大石頭。 You're going to hit that big rock.
看那... Behold the...
哦。 Oooh.
如果你能動一下並給我一個小小的 輕推一下，傑扎，那就太棒了。 If you can move and give me a tiny nudge, Jezza, that would be brilliant.
瞪羚有 移動了海象。 The gazelle has moved the walrus.
非常感謝。 Thank you very much.
來吧，輕輕地。是的是的。 Come on, gently. Yes, yes.
我開始 就像我的捷豹一樣。 I'm beginning to rather like my Jaag.
抱歉，一開始我很失望 在其中，因為它太精彩了。 I'm sorry I was initially disappointed in it, because it's bloody brilliant.
最終，我們 達到了我們的目標。 Eventually, we achieved our objective.
嗯，這個 絕對是頂級的。 Well, this is definitely the top.
我會說。 I'd say.
這似乎是 ……那是一個建築工地。 And that appears to be a... that's a building site.
那是我們的燃油車嗎？ Is that our fuel bowser?
他一定有 穿過那個雷區，不是嗎？ He must have got through that minefield, mustn't he?
威爾曼先生會生氣的 Mr Wilman's going to be furious
因為它還沒有爆炸。他是 他的拖車一無所獲。 'cause it hasn't blown up. He's got nothing for his trailer.
是啊，呃，夥計們， 我傾向於在這裡停下來。 Yeah, uh, chaps, I'm inclined to stop here.
為什麼？ Why?
你會看到的。 You'll see.
- 呵呵，看！有一條路。 - 哦，是的。 - Ho-ho, look! There's a road. - Ooh, yeah.
嗯，是的，有， 這是一條不錯的路，但是…… Well, yeah, there is, and it is a nice road, but...
- 確切地。 - 它在下面。 - Exactly. - It's down there.
它不加入 就到這裡吧？ It doesn't join up with here, does it?
它與這裡沒有連接。 It's not connected to here.
- 我們會開車到這裡。 - 什麼？ - We'll drive down here. - What?
- 我們會開車到這裡。 - 是的，沿著那條路走。 - We'll drive down here. - Yeah, down that track.
這是懸崖！ It's a cliff!
重力太大了 立即可用 There's too much gravity immediately available
我們之間 站著那條路。 between where we're standing and that road.
這並不是一個殘酷的事情 不可預測的女主人。 And it isn't a cruel and unpredictable mistress.
不，它非常可靠。 No, it's bloody reliable.
- 聽著，如果我先... - 是的。 - Listen, if I go first... - Yeah.
我準備這樣做... Which I'm prepared to do...
- 真的嗎？ - 是的，我先走了。 - Really? - Yeah, I'll go first.
備用貨車在那兒，是嗎？ The backup van's there, yes?
是的。 Yes.
就這樣綁定了 裡面有一些電纜。 That's bound to have some cable in it.
為什麼我不附上我的車 到那些挖掘者之一？ Why don't I attach my car to one of those diggers?
其實我們可以用 另一個作為滑輪。 Actually, we could use the other one as a pulley.
然後我開車下來， And then I drive down,
但我有 電纜的安全。 but I've got the safety of the cable.
很多年前的某個時候，你 混淆了工程師和漫畫家。 Years ago, at some point, you confused engineers with cartoonists.
這是什麼，非常非常非常 值得讚揚的是精心設計的自殺。 What this is, is a very, very, very commendably elaborate suicide.
儘管如此， 沒有其他選擇， Nevertheless, there was no other choice,
所以我們去了 在備用貨車裡翻找。 so we went for a rummage in the backup van.
這是一條合適的電纜。 That is a proper cable.
是否評級 四噸或五噸？ Is it rated to four or five tonnes?
看起來是這樣。 Looks like it.
它會非常重。 It'll be incredibly heavy.
- 好吧，我們準備好了嗎？ - 腳。 - Right, are we ready? - Feet.
開始了。 Here we go.
一旦我安裝好電纜 Once I'd rigged up the cables
完全沒有幫助 來自挖掘機司機， with no help at all from the digger drivers,
並付錢給他們的老闆...... and paid their boss...
一萬 MRU。 Ten thousand MRU's.
克拉克森勳爵。 Lord Clarkson.
我沒有支票 保修卡恐怕 I don't have a check guarantee card, I'm afraid,
但沒關係，因為 我有一個「Jaaaag」。 but it's OK, because I have a "Jaaaag".
然後我解釋了 將設置發送給我的同事。 I then explained the setup to my colleagues.
- 那麼，我開車過去，是嗎？ - 是的。 - So, I drive over there, yeah? - Yeah.
然後那個傢伙 挖掘機將向前行駛 And then the chap in that digger is going to drive forwards
以相同的速度 我正開車下山。 at the same speed I'm driving down the hill.
- 然後，那些滑輪。 - 是的。 - And then, those pulleys. - Yes.
他可以擺動這隻手臂。 He can swing this arm.
所以，當我也許改變時 當我走下斜坡時的方向 So, as I perhaps change direction as I go down the slope,
挑選一條路線， picking out a route,
你需要告訴他 向右或向左擺動。所以... you'll need to tell him to swing it right or left. So...
- 他會說英語嗎？ - 什麼？ - Does he speak English? - What?
- 他是不是... - 不。 - Does he... - No.
他們實際上都是毛裡塔尼亞人 但他們說阿拉伯語和法語。 They're all actually Mauritanian, but they speak Arabic and French.
- 阿拉伯語？不，法語？ - 法語。我是你的男人。 - Arabic? No. French? - French. I'm your man.
有我的後盾 整理好後，我爬上了船。 With my back-up sorted, I climbed aboard.
你準備去嗎 掛檔還是空檔？ Are you going to go down in gear or in neutral?
我得開車， 我不是嗎？我需要先進去。 I've got to drive, haven't I? I need to be in first.
對了，我們準備好了嗎？ Right, are we ready?
站在我們身上，我們會看到 你說得對。你有我們的支持。 Stand on us, we'll see you right. You have our support.
耶穌。 Jesus.
- 熊向左。 - 還剩一點點。 - Bear left. - Little bit of left.
還剩一點點 Bit of left.
你很接近 到...你正在駛下懸崖。 You're very close to the... you're driving off a cliff.
但好處是 是，由於我的 Stratos 聚光燈， But the good thing is, due to my Stratos spotlights,
我看不到這一點。 I can't see that.
好的。 OK.
我現在可以看到我擁有的東西 第一次要做。 I can now see what I've got to do for the first time.
不喜歡這個。 Don't like this.
事實上，真的 不喜歡這個。 Actually, really don't like this.
我需要向左走。 I need to go left.
如果你可以問他 向左擺動手臂。 If you can ask him to swing his arm left.
將手臂向左擺動。在上面。 Swing his arm left. On it.
因為我不想 去那個溝壑下去。 'Cause I don't want to go down that gully.
S'il vous pla?t，beaucoup... S'il vous plaît, beaucoup...
左邊。 left.
Droite。 Droite.
無論你 模仿，哈蒙德，還不錯。 Whatever you mimed, Hammond, wasn't bad.
來吧，轉，轉， 轉身吧，你這個混蛋。 Come on, turn, turn, turn, you bastard.
向左來，向左來。 Come left, come left.
向左走吧，我的小 汽車的山羊。 Come left, my little mountain goat of a car.
- 這樣好多了。 - 全部伸直。 - That's better. - All straightened.
天哪，我在做什麼？ Christ, what am I doing?
哦，呼呼呼。 Oooh, hoohoohoo.
我現在已經達到了一個地步 我想我可以走完剩下的路 I'd now reached a point where I reckoned I could go the rest of the way
在我自己的推動下。 under my own steam.
這不是一個實用的日常 一種解決方案，是嗎？ It's not a practical, everyday kind of solution, is it?
- 這並不快。 - 不。 - It's not quick. - No.
- 你需要幾個備用挖掘機。 - 是的。 - And you need a couple of spare diggers. - Yeah.
哦！ Oh!
好的，我開始了。 OK, here I go.
哦，上帝，說實話。 Ooh, God, struth.
我要往旁邊走 I'm going sideways.
理順了！ Straighten out!
好的。速度與力量！ OK. Speed and power!
我在路上！我在路上！ I'm on a road! I'm on a road!
哈蒙德和梅，現在輪到你了。 Hammond and May, your turn now.
這真的很容易， 一點也不可怕。 It's really easy, not frightening at all.
在我們加入之前 不過，傑裡米，我們必須確保 Before we could join Jeremy, though, we had to make sure
我們珍貴的九噸 油罐車安全降落。 that our precious nine-tonne fuel tanker got down safely.
如果你必須降低 一艘油罐車衝下懸崖， If you had to lower a fuel tanker down a cliff,
哪兩個人會 你最不喜歡負責？ which two human beings would you least like to be in charge?
我們是百分之一百萬嗎 確定這會安全嗎？ Are we one million percent sure this is going to be safe?
不是一百萬 百分比，說實話。 Not a million percent, to be honest.
這比捷豹重， 不過，即使有他在其中。 This is heavier than the Jag, though, even with him in it.
對了，發下來吧。 Right, send it down.
- 不，這太多了。 - 太多了。退後一點。 - No, that's too much. - Too much. Back a bit.
- 胡說八道！ - 哦親愛的。 - Bollocks! - Oh, dear.
那聲音太可怕了。 That noise is horrible.
在中途點， 司機要求我們鬆開電纜 At the halfway point, the driver asked us to release the cables
這樣他就可以完成剩下的事情 自己掉落的。 so he could do the rest of the drop on his own.
好吧，我知道那是什麼感覺 就像那輛油罐車裡的那個人一樣。 OK, I know what it feels like for that man in that fuel tanker.
底部鬆動。 Bottom loosening.
我認為我們需要一點 嚴重的左手向下 I think we need a bit of serious left-hand down
如果他要避免 傑裡米遇到的問題， if he's going to avoid the problem that Jeremy had,
因為他不應該 那樣走得太遠了。 'cause he mustn't go too far that way.
他需要開始行動 盡快離開。 He needs to start going left as soon as he can.
詹姆斯，既然我們已經 又往山下移動了一點 James, now that we've moved down the hill a bit further
- 第一次。 - 是的？ - for the first time. - Yeah?
你看到了什麼嗎 我在那兒見過？ Have you seen what I've seen over there?
哦，哦，哦，哦，哦，哦。 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
我的天啊。 Oh, my God.
不好了。 Oh, no.
先生們， 燃油調節器已關閉。 Gentlemen, the fuel bowser is down.
它被卡住了，但是已經下降了。 It's stuck, but it's down.
夥計們，好消息。 Guys, good news.
他已經快要跌到谷底了。 不會爆炸，這很好。 He's made it just about to the bottom. It's not going to blow up, which is good.
還有前面 保險杠脫落了， And the front bumper has come off,
我認為這會起作用 和預告片中的東西一樣好。 which I think's going to work quite well as something in the trailer.
那是 驚人的。這真的是真的... That's amazing. It's really, really...
這真是令人印象深刻。 That was proper impressive.
還有別的事。 Something else.
但是，我的意思是，這只是...而且 沒有爆炸，什麼都沒有。 But, I mean, it's just... And it's no explosion, nothing.
- 你怎麼下來的？ - 哦，我們是在路上來的。 - How did you get down? - Oh, we came on the road.
你是在告訴我... Are you telling me...
我不打算 說謊。這真是一個驚喜。 I'm not going to lie. It was quite a surprise.
就在建築工地後面。 It's behind the building site.
這就是為什麼他們有那些 挖掘機和那邊的東西。 That's why they've got those diggers and things over there.
- 他們一直在修路。 - 他們剛剛到達山頂。 - They've been building a road. - They've just got to the top.
- 這是一條很好的路。 - 很可愛。 - It's a nice road. - It's lovely.
我們都在這裡。 大家都很高興。 We're all here. Everybody's happy.
我不開心。我下來了 那裡。我從那兒下來，在那兒。 I'm not happy. I came down there. I came down that, in that.
好吧。 Yes, well.
那很漂亮 簡單的。這是一條新路。 That was pretty easy. It's a new road.
很可愛。新鮮的停機坪， 邊緣有一點沙子。 It's lovely. Fresh tarmac, a little sand on the very edges.
隨著夕陽西下 和我們車輪下的停機坪， With the sun setting and tarmac beneath our wheels,
我們決定淘汰盡可能多的 天黑前盡可能走幾英里。 we decided to knock off as many miles as possible before dark.
有一天我會承認， 天氣有點熱，但現在…… I'll admit that in the day, it is a bit toasty warm, but now...
剛剛過了七點。 It's just gone seven o'clock.
太陽剛剛落山 在那兒的山??後面。 The sun has just gone down behind the hill there.
這絕對是令人愉快的。 只有38度。 This is absolutely delightful. A mere 38 degrees.
夜幕降臨，我們 把車停在路邊紮營， As night fell, we pulled off the road to make camp,
詹姆斯和我假設先生 威爾曼搭了一些豪華帳篷 with James and I assuming Mr Wilman had put some luxury tents
在備用貨車中。 in the backup van.
我正在努力回憶 如果我曾經像這樣生氣過的話。 I'm trying to remember if I've ever been as irritated as this.
實在是太窮了。 It's pretty poor.
這……就算是個男孩 偵察兵會對此說不。 This is... Even a boy scout would say no to that.
他從哪裡得到它們？ Where's he got them from?
那天他去了格拉斯頓伯裡嗎 完成後就幫了自己？ Did he go to Glastonbury the day after it finished and just helped himself?
但我不能...我的意思是， 我今年 63 歲了。 But I can't... I mean, I'm 63 years old.
我幾乎無法觸及我的 膝蓋，別動我的腳趾。 I can barely touch my knees, leave alone my toes.
他認為我會怎樣 早上就穿那件衣服嗎？ How does he think I'm going to get dressed in that in the morning?
你知道嗎 什麼是雙重令人惱火的？ And do you know what's doubly irritating?
不，但繼續吧。 No, but go on.
- 哈蒙德的帳篷更好。 - 好多了。 - Hammond's tent is better. - It's much better.
我永遠不會去 能夠入睡 I'm never going to be able to get to sleep
知道哈蒙德是 在 20 英尺之外享受更好的時光。 knowing that Hammond is having a better time 20 feet away.
我不需要那樣的帳篷。 I do not need a tent like that.
分開後是半透明的 從其他任何事情。 It's translucent apart from anything else.
他是否走進一家商店並 說：「最便宜的帳篷是什麼？」 Did he go into a shop and say, "What is the cheapest tent?"
「什麼是 最便宜的帳篷？」 "What is the cheapest tent?"
你知道超市是 聲稱回收他們的購物袋......？ You know supermarkets are claiming to recycle their carrier bags...?
經歷了一個悲慘的夜晚之後， After a wretched night,
我們曾向西南方向行駛過一次 更多地進入非洲的炎熱天氣。 we headed south-west once more into the vast heat of Africa.
但從好的方面來看， But on the plus side,
這條腿 旅程開始了 this leg of the journey started out
作為汽油頭天堂的一部分。 as a slice of petrol head heaven.
首先，有一個 礫石拉力賽階段。 First, there was a gravel rally stage.
然後，有什麼 感覺就像是阿爾卑斯山口。 And then, there was what felt like an alpine pass.
哇，停機坪！ Whoa, tarmac!
耶穌！多麼好的一條路啊！ Jesus! What a road!
然後... And then...
我們到達的表面 我們所有人都絕對討厭。 We hit a surface that all of us absolutely hate.
天哪，這是洗衣板。 Oh God, it's washboard.
噢，有點糟糕。 Oh, bad bit.
啊哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。 Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
讓它結束吧。 Let it end.
現在，求你了，我求求你了。 Now, please, I beg of you.
你可能不相信 這很糟糕，觀眾們，但是看看。 You might not believe this is bad, viewers, but look.
我的一個通風口有 被從車上搖下來。 One of my air vents has been shaken free of the car.
從我們坐的地方， 這是他遇到的最小的問題。 From where we were sitting, that was the least of his problems.
詹姆斯，你的 瑪莎拉蒂看起來很搖搖欲墜。 James, your Maserati looks very wobbly.
就像崩潰一樣 小丑車搖搖晃晃。 Like fall apart clown car wobbly.
翅膀是 移動，一切。 The wings are moving, everything.
天哪，我明白你的意思了。 Oh my God, I see what you mean.
整個身體都在顫抖。 The whole body is vibrating.
絕對是 這裡令人震驚。 It's absolutely shocking in here.
你認為威爾曼先生會考慮把 備用貨車裡有一些備用骨盆嗎？ Do you think Mr Wilman thought to put some spare pelvises in the backup van?
天啊。 Oh God.
我們已經做到了 其中42公里。 We have done 42 kilometres of this.
我厭倦了這條洗衣板路。 I'm sick of this washboard road.
幸運的是， 道路平坦的小鎮 Mercifully, a town with smooth roads
很快就進入了視野。 soon hoved into view.
這座小鎮，欣蓋蒂， This town, Chinguetti,
一千年前，而我 確實是指一千年前 a thousand years ago, and I do mean a thousand years ago,
是之間的一個中轉站 廷巴克圖和海岸， was a staging post between Timbuktu and the coast,
他們存儲了所有 他們的文學在這裡。 and they stored all their literature here.
每棟建築都是圖書館。 所有的學習都在這個小鎮裡。 Every building was a library. All of learning was in this town.
今天，小鎮分裂了 被充滿軟沙的干河分成兩部分。 Today, the town is split in two by a Wadi full of soft sand.
穿越它顯然需要一個 巨大的速度和力量。 And crossing it plainly required a vast amount of speed and power.
聖哉耶穌！ Holy Jesus!
傑裡米來了。 Jeremy's here.
這是一個相當不錯的 小方塊，這個，不是嗎？ It's quite a nice little square, this, isn't it?
我的車看起來有點... 現在看起來相當崎嶇。 My car's looking a little bit... It looks quite rugged now.
這一切是什麼？ And what's all this?
啊! 我不知道。 Ah! I don't know.
哦天啊。 Oh geeeee.
哎呀，這樣不好。 Geee, that's not good.
本來就是這樣 在裡面的某個地方。 That's supposed to be inside somewhere.
是油還是水？ 還是油水？ Is it oil or water? Or oily water?
- 沙質水、油水？ - 兩者都不是。 - Sandy, oily water? - It's neither.
- 這是動力轉向液。 - 什麼？ - It's power steering fluid. - What?
動力轉向液 變得異常炎熱 The power steering fluid is getting incredibly hot
因為所有的工作 它正在做，還有熱量。 because of all the work it's doing, and the heat.
你見過嗎？ Have you seen?
我可以看到 引擎蓋升起來了，我應該... I can see the bonnet's up, should I...
哦，這只是一個小... 只是溫度而已 Oh, it's just a minor... it's just the temperature,
-這裡那裡有點太熱了。 - 它一直在哭。 - bit too much heat here and there. - It's been crying.
是的，它有點哭泣。 Yeah, it has had a little weep.
嗯，這是眾所周知的事情 Um, it's a known thing
他們在沙漠中做到了這一點，DB9。 that they do it in the desert, DB9s.
- 聽。我想環視這個小鎮。 - 是的。 - Listen. I wanna look round this town. - Yes.
我有東西我 想去這個小鎮看看。 I've got something I want to look at in this town.
- 什麼？不，不，什麼？ - 這是一個圖書館。 - What? No, no, what? - It's a library.
有很多圖書館。看， 「Bibliotheque」， 意思是圖書館。 There's lots of libraries. Look, "Bibliotheque", that means library.
我想他們是三個。 There's three of them, I think.
曾經有什麼， 700？所有的知識， There used to be what, 700? All of knowledge,
我是對的，不是嗎，漂亮 很多，都儲存在這裡。 I'm right, aren't I, pretty much, was stored here.
所有阿拉伯知識，是的。 All of Arab knowledge, yes.
好的，我們會 一會兒見。 Right, we'll see you in a minute.
我想要的原因 參觀這個歷史遺址 The reason why I wanted to look around this historical site
因為很快， 它不會在這裡。 is because soon, it won't be here.
沙漠是... 吃小鎮。 The desert is... eating the town.
- 什麼？ - 它正在吃它。 - What? - It's eating it.
血腥 地獄。看這個。 Bloody hell. Look at this.
他不會去割草 他的草坪不再是了，是嗎？ He's not gonna be mowing his lawn anymore, is he?
所以它有英尺深、米深。 So it's feet deep, metres deep.
- 為什麼沙漠正在吞噬城鎮？ - 看那個！ - Why is the desert eating the town? - Look at that!
那麼現在，有一個 叫做全球變暖的事情。 Well now, there's a thing called global warming.
聽說過。 Heard of that.
也正因為如此， 撒哈拉沙漠正在向南移動 And because of it, the Sahara Desert is moving south
以四的速度 米一年。 at the rate of four metres a year.
所以這就是風 移動沙子？ So this is what, wind moving the sand?
是的，這只是...嗯，植被 正在死亡並變成沙漠。 Yes, it's just... Well, the vegetation is dying and becoming desert.
- 百年，儘是沙漠。 - 走了。 - Hundred years, all that's desert. - Gone.
這大概就是 房子的頂部。 That's probably the top of a house.
血腥... 我對此感到震驚。 Bloody... I'm staggered by this.
- 告訴你什麼吧，哈蒙德？ - 什麼？ - Tell you what though, Hammond? - What?
它給了我一個想法。 It has given me an idea.
什麼？ What?
你會喜歡這個的。 You're gonna like this.
同時， 在其中一個圖書館中， Meanwhile, in one of the libraries,
有人向我展示了一些 令人難以置信的古代文本。 I was being shown some incredible ancient texts.
確實用了黃金 在這一點上，這就是金子。 There's actual gold used in this bit, this is gold.
是的。 Yeah.
是鍍金的。 It's gilded.
是的，就是這個。 Yeah, this one.
真是令人驚嘆，這個。 It is stunning, this one.
一位美國遊客說 Said that an American tourist
拜訪了圖書館裡的那個人 visited the guy in the library,
他問他 把書賣給他。 and he asked him to sell him the book.
然後他告訴他 如果他願意賣掉它 Then he told him if he would sell it,
他會給他一個房子 在佛羅里達州，他說不。 he's gonna give him a house in Florida, and he said no.
這是他的遺產 曾祖父母。 It's the legacy of his great-grandparents.
我認為你做了正確的事。 I think you did the right thing.
你不想要一個 佛羅里達州的房子。 You don't want a house in Florida.
一切又熱又粘 到處都是持槍的人。 It's all hot and sticky and full of people with guns.
我可以觸摸一個 500年前的天文學書？ Can I touch a 500-year-old astronomy book?
這是親戚 月球的運動和... This is the relative motions of the Moon and...
地球和太陽。 the Earth and the Sun.
這就是哥白尼之前的情況， 大概是在同一時間 So that's pre-Copernicus, presumably, so it's about the same time,
在阿拉伯世界我不這麼認為 認為他們還沒有認識到 and in the Arab world I don't think they had yet recognised
太陽應該是 考慮在中間。 that the Sun should be considered in the middle.
還要記住 我們在這裡談論的是什麼 Bear in mind as well that what we're talking about here,
11世紀，是我們的世紀 對11世紀的理解... the 11th century, is our understanding of the 11th century...
已發送 圖書館員進入深度睡眠， Having sent the librarians into a deep sleep,
詹姆斯終於出現了 到陽光下。 James finally emerged into the sunlight.
嘿，怎麼樣 你在做？怎麼樣？好嗎？ Hey, how are you doing? Was it good?
是的，那真是太棒了。 Yeah, it was bloody fantastic.
有很多書，但這本古老的書 關於先知生活的圖表， Lots of books but this ancient one with diagrams in about lives of the prophets,
每個人都是一個 插圖，就像一幅畫。 and every one was an illustration, like a picture.
他的心情即將發生變化。 His mood is about to change.
你做了什麼？ 你做了什麼？ What have you done? What have you done?
好吧我們一直掛著 大約。我們走過來， Well we've been hanging around. We've walked about,
看看這個城鎮，不是嗎？ looked at the town, haven't we?
- 你已經注意到了。 - 哦這個？ - You've noticed. - Oh that?
- 啊。那不是我們。 - 不。 - Ah. That wasn't us. - No.
- 它是... - 我們回來了 - It's... - We got back
環顧四周 鎮上的其他地方... from looking round this other bit of the town...
- 是的。 - 並發現了這個。 - Yes. - And found this.
你聽說過灰塵 魔鬼，那些像旋轉的風一樣的小東西？ You've heard of dust devils, those little like spinning winds?
- 是的。 - 你停車的地方，在這個十字路口。 - Yes. - Where you parked, at this intersection.
我認為它可能會被放大 風的影響 I think it maybe amplified the effect of the wind
剛剛拿起它 並將其存放在那裡。 and just picked it up and deposited it there.
你看到這發生了嗎？ And you saw this happen?
不，我們沒有，因為我們是 環視另一個城鎮。 No, we didn't, cos we were looking round the other town.
唯一的另一個 我們能想到的事情 The only other thing we can think of,
我們絞盡腦汁，是 他們這裡沒有門票， we've wracked our brains, is that they don't have tickets here,
如果你把車停在 大路中間。 if you park in the middle of the road.
交通協管員簡單說 用沙子填滿你的車。 The traffic wardens simply fill your car with sand.
這真是……太好了。 That's a... that's very good.
但如果我的車沒有怎麼辦 工作？我到底怎樣才能把它拿出來呢？ But what if my car doesn't work? And how the hell do I get it out?
- 鑰匙在哪裡？ - 啊。 - Where's the key? - Ah.
你把它留在哪裡了？ Where did you leave it?
在中控台上， 我總是把它放在哪裡。 On the centre console, where I always leave it.
如果你只是打開 門一關，沙子就會掉出來。 If you just open the doors, the sand'll fall out.
嗯，鎖了。 Well, it's locked.
你看，我從來不鎖車。 You see, I never lock my car.
以防萬一 確切的事情發生了。 Just in case this exact thing happens.
好的，給我一個 鏟子，我去拿。你... OK, give me a shovel, I'll get it. You...
哦，那就滾吧。 Oh, bugger off then.
離開詹姆斯後 解決他奇怪的沙塵暴問題， Having left James to sort out his freak sandstorm issue,
我們前往備用貨車， we headed for the backup van,
因為我們決定 解決問題 because we'd decided to solve the problems
由可怕的事情造成 洗衣板路。 caused by the horrendous washboard roads.
天啊，這是一個，這是一個…… Oh God, it's a, it's a...
哦，燃燒啊！ Oh, burning, ah!
啊! 謝謝。 Ah! Thank you.
如果你想做任何焊接。 If you wanna do any welding.
或者電鋸。 Or chainsawing.
或者角色扮演。 Or role play.
現在請稍等一下。 我可以用這些做點什麼。 Now hang on a minute. I could do something with these.
我可以。 Yes, I can.
當詹姆斯 辛苦地清空他的車...... While James toiled away emptying his car...
噢，愚蠢的。 Oh, stupid.
...我們很忙 我們在貨車裡發現的東西， ...we got busy with what we'd found in the van,
很快我們的洗衣板 解決方案修改已準備就緒。 and soon our washboard solution modifications were ready.
- 所以我在卡車裡發現了這個。 - 是的。 - So I found this in the truck. - Yes.
- 這是一個修煉者。 - 這是。 - It's a cultivator. - It is.
它可能會起作用， It might work,
但一般耕種者 被拖在拖拉機後面。 but normally cultivators are towed behind the tractor.
是的，但我得開車過去 道路崎嶇，方能修成平地。 Yes, but I'd have to drive over the rough road before cultivating it level.
那是行不通的。 That wouldn't work.
不，這樣會更善於交際。 No, it would be more sociable.
我不是。 I'm not.
- 你不是什麼，善於交際？ - 善於交際。 - You're not what, sociable? - Sociable.
我想要這個 工作並讓我的生活更美好。 I want this for me to work and make my life better.
但我覺得 你會找到我的解決方案 But I think you'll find my solution
超過了這個 數百萬的係數。 surpasses this by a factor of several million.
我真的不知道 I've literally no idea
為什麼威爾曼先生放了兩個 貨車裡的雪地摩托， why Mr Wilman put two snowmobiles in the van,
知道我們要去 撒哈拉沙漠，但我很高興他做到了。 knowing we're going to the Sahara Desert, but I'm glad he did.
讓我解釋。好的。 Let me explain. OK.
不用滑雪板， 我在前面裝了輪子 Instead of using the skis, I've fitted wheels at the front,
但我們並不是真的 對此感興趣。 but we're not really interested in this.
我們感興趣的 裡面是曲目。 What we are interested in is the tracks.
他們將會呼嘯而過 沿著我的車輪前行， They're gonna be whizzing along in front of my wheels,
平滑山脊 smoothing out the ridges
在洗衣板裡。 in the washboard.
所以當我到達時，難以置信 光滑，就像檯球桌一樣。 So when I arrive, incredibly smooth, it'll be like a billiard table.
他們將會去 eeeee，就像兩個巨大的砂帶磨光機？ They're gonna be going eeeee, like two massive belt sanders?
是的。確切地 對，他們是砂帶磨光機， Yes. Exactly right, they're belt sanders,
安裝在前面 捷豹F-Type的。 mounted to the front of a Jaguar F-Type.
- 是的。 - 越野捷豹。 - Yeah. - Off road Jag.
F-越野車類型。 An F-Off roader type.
太不可思議了，不是嗎？ 與其被關在單調的牢房裡， It's incredible, isn't it? Rather than be locked up in a drab cell,
穿著一件夾克 做在後面， in a jacket that does up at the back,
你有很多機會 讓你的瘋狂變得真實。 you've had so many opportunities to make your insanity real.
就在那裡！ There it is!
隨著 技術簡報結束， With the technical briefings over,
是時候放了 理論付諸實踐。 it was time to put theory into practice.
提升設備。 Raising rig.
理查德 哈蒙德。走向未來。 Richard Hammond. To the future.
我猜 這個鎮上的大多數人 I'm guessing that most of the people in this town
還沒見過雪地摩托。 have not yet seen a snowmobile.
他們會感到非常驚訝 聽聽它的主要目的是什麼。 They're going to be quite surprised to hear what its primary purpose is.
顯然，我有它 現在處於升高的位置。 Obviously, I have it in a raised position right now.
我可以通過液壓降低它。 I can hydraulically lower it.
這就像詹姆斯一樣 邦德的蓮花。 It's just like James Bond's Lotus.
在普通汽車模式下， 這只是一輛普通的汽車。 In normal car mode, it's just a normal car.
一旦我們來到一個 鎮外的洗衣板路段， Once we came to a washboard section of road outside the town,
我們準備了 我們的首次審判。 we prepared for our maiden trial.
雪地摩托正在行駛。 Snowmobiles are running.
對了，我正在做 它。我正在做。 Right, I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
開始了。降低。 Here we go. Lowering.
現在我們開始。 And here we go.
天哪，我認為它正在發揮作用。 By Jove, I think it's working.
我的意思是我... I mean I...
是的。 Yeah.
我正在雕刻道路。 我正在撫平它們。 I am sculpting the roads. I'm smoothing them.
哈哈哈哈！ Ha ha ha ha!
我正在平整道路。 I am grading the road.
上帝！ God!
無法相信 這件事正在發生。 Cannot believe that this is happening.
哦耶。 Oh yeah.
我就坐著 現在就在這裡放鬆一下。 And I'll just sit here now and relax.
而且不只是我這樣 受益。請記住這一點。 And it's not just me that's benefitting. Remember that.
整個 非洲正在受益。 The whole of Africa is benefitting.
哦，石頭來了。看， 它正在踢起一些石頭。 Oh, stones are coming. See, it's kicking up some stones.
哦，是的，這可能會發生。 Oh yeah, that can happen.
是的。 Yeah.
哦，是的，那是一些大石頭。 Oh yeah, that's some big stones.
但是儘管如此 這個初期問題， But despite this teething problem,
當我們靠邊停車時 幾英里後檢查我們的工作， when we pulled over a few miles later to inspect our work,
結果是毫無疑問的。 the results were unquestionable.
你看向左邊 道路，這就是我們分級的道路， You look on the left-hand side of the road, which is what we have graded,
那邊， that side,
然後看右邊 我們還沒有對道路進行分級， and then look at the right-hand side of the road, which we haven't graded,
- 我的意思是...證明。 - 它有效，它有效。 - I mean it... proof. - It works, it works.
- 你可以用它來參加 F1 比賽。 - 哦，簡單。 - You could run an F1 race on that. - Oh, easy.
然後我們決定 完全具有公益精神， We then decided to be fully public spirited,
並排行駛，所以我們 可以把所有的路都修平。 and drive side by side, so we could smooth out all of the road.
好吧，哈蒙德，我們走吧。 OK, Hammond, let's go.
我們可以做雙車道。 We could do dual carriageways.
我想我可以走了 這裡再深一點。 I reckon I can go a bit deeper here.
只是必須...我正在學習 現在就對系統進行巧妙處理。 Just gotta... I'm learning to finesse the system now.
拉屎！ Shit!
媽的！ Oh shit!
我的天啊！ Oh, my God!
我從未見過 任何類似的東西。 I've never seen anything like it.
我只看到一股煙霧 它跳過了那個東西然後…… I just saw a puff of smoke and it leapt that thing and...
至少沒有目擊者。 除了這輛卡車上的人。 At least there are no witnesses. Apart from the people in this lorry.
哦。 Ooh.
- 我會靜靜地走下去。 - 是的。 - I'm just gonna quietly move along. - Yeah.
正確的。 Right.
如果我並肩行駛，人們 不會發現少了一個。 If I drive alongside, people won't spot that there's one missing.
是的，哈蒙德思想很好。 Yeah, good thinking Hammond.
嗯，那是獨一無二的。 我還蠻有信心的... Well, that was unique. I'm pretty confident...
哦。 Oh.
哦，我想它剛剛壞了。 Oh, I think it just broke.
在第二次事件發生後， 我們決定放棄所有修路 After this second incident, we decided to abandon all road mending
在可預見的未來。 for the foreseeable future.
最初，我們的實驗 太棒了，然後一切就都順利了 Initially, our experiment was brilliant, and then everything went
嚴重錯誤，嚴重錯誤…… terribly, badly wrong...
確實很快。 very quickly indeed.
你準備好了嗎 演講？我有過。 Had you prepared speeches? I had.
我不知道是否 我會獲得 CBE 或 OBE。 I didn't know whether I'd get a CBE or an OBE.
我本來要得到一個 雕像並做 TED 演講。 I was gonna get a statue and do a TED talk.
我可能是 現在也不會得到， I'm probably not gonna get either now,
特別是如果我的雪地摩托 墜入偏遠村莊。 particularly if my snowmobile crashes into a remote village.
假設五月 最終會趕上， Assuming May would eventually catch up,
我們決定繼續前進。 we decided to press on.
但是，隨著夜幕降臨，我的 阿斯頓開始發揮。 But, as darkness fell, my Aston began to play up.
再次。 Again.
呃，我又過熱了。 Er, I'm just overheating again.
我被告知停止 立即開車。 I've been told to stop immediately by the car.
我似乎無法超越第三名 齒輪，因此它的轉速過高。 I can't seem to get past third gear, so it's running at too high RPM.
好的，哈蒙德。嗯，有 我對此無能為力。 OK, Hammond. Um, there's literally nothing I can do about that.
不，那是一個 嘆息，但你是對的。 No, that was a sigh, but you're right.
作為我同事的 尾燈融入夜色， As my colleague's taillights dissolved into the night,
我被留下來 獨自前行…… I was left to trundle on... alone.
呃，已經很晚了，我不能走太多了 每小時超過20英里。 Er, it's late and I can't go much more than 20 miles an hour.
變速箱出現故障。不會的 上移。我被困在第二位了 The gearbox is failing. It won't shift up. I'm stuck in second.
如果我運行它高於 一千轉/分鐘， And if I run it any higher than one and a half thousand RPM,
發動機過熱。 the engine overheats.
我也收到警告 告訴我檢查電池關閉開關， Also I'm getting warnings telling me check battery off switch,
剎車失靈，安全停車，我的 儀表板燈熄滅了。 brake failure, stop safely and my dashboard lights have gone out.
哦，他們回來了！ Oh, they've come back!
SRS 安全氣囊維修緊急。 SRS airbag service urgent.
側翻保護故障。 需要 DSC 服務。 Rollover protect fault. DSC service required.
快點。 Come on.
會帶你去露營。 Gonna get you to camp.
一點工作。 Bit of work.
第二天早上， 詹姆斯和我重聚了。 The next morning, James and I were reunited.
天啊。 Oh God.
哦。 Oh.
哦，我是空的。 Oh I'm empty.
- 早上，五月。 - 早晨。 - Morning, May. - Morning.
你見過嗎 這張照片缺少什麼？ Have you seen what's missing from this picture?
是的。 Yes.
我排在另外兩個人後面。 他們領先幾英里。 I am behind the other two. They're some miles ahead.
我會找到他們， I will find them,
但我無法再繼續下去 直到我把這輛車整理好。 but I can't go on any further, until I've sorted this car.
所以我就在這裡跳過了 昨晚，因為我可以， So I kipped here last night, cos I can,
因為我有一個 阿斯頓·馬丁酒店。 cos I've got an Aston Martin hotel.
但阿斯頓·馬丁 位工作得不太好。 But the Aston Martin bit isn't working very well.
我負責推出這輛車。我 記得他們出來的時候。 I did the launch of this car. I remember when they came out.
這是從確切的時間點開始 汽車開始變得越來越聰明。 It's from the exact point when cars started getting cleverer.
但還不夠聰明。 But not clever enough.
通常情況下，一切都是電動的 汽車由一根單獨的電線控制， Normally everything electric on a car was controlled by a separate wire,
當所有的時候這都可以 你有一個喇叭。 which is OK when all you had was a horn.
但到了這個時候，一切 從事電子產品工作， But by this time, everything was worked with electronics,
所以他們把它們全部結合起來 變成一根巨大的、非常聰明的電線 so they combined them all into one gigantic, very clever wire
繞著汽車轉了一圈 停在所有不同的事情上。 that went all the way round the car and stopped off at all the different things.
而汽車可以感知一切， 它的剎車，它的懸架， And the car can feel everything, its brakes, its suspension,
這太棒了，直到 它感覺不到它們。 which is great, until it can't feel them.
所以如果它感覺不到變速箱 它停止使用變速箱。 So if it can't feel its gearbox, it stops using its gearbox.
某處有一個小 只是短路的東西， Somewhere in there is one little thing that's just shorting across,
它正在發送其全部 中樞神經系統陷入崩潰。 and it's sending the whole of its central nervous system into meltdown.
它可能是 那裡的任何地方。 And it could be anywhere in there.
更糟糕的是沙漠。 很熱。充滿了石頭和沙子。 What's made it worse, is the desert. It's hot. Full of stones and sand.
天氣很熱，所以需要降溫。 It's hot, so it needs cooling.
這是一個小散熱器 前面，小小的冷卻器。 Here is a little radiator at the front, tiny little cooler.
冷卻變速箱油， 就在後面。 That cools oil for the gearbox, which is right at the back.
其中一顆石頭已經消失了 穿過散熱器，並打了一個孔。 One of the stones has gone through the radiator, and made a hole.
這使得油洩漏出來 分佈在散熱器的前部， That's allowed the oil to leak out and spread over the front of the radiator,
與沙子混合併 在自己面前築起一堵磚牆。 mingle with the sand and build a brick wall in front of itself.
所以變速箱過熱。 So the gearbox is overheating.
我或許可以做點什麼 關於，但至於電子產品， That I could probably do something about, but as for the electronics,
我只是要看看 I'm just gonna have to look
直到我身體可以 找到一個問題來解決。 until I can physically find a problem to mend.
一個小時後 恢復體力後，我又上路了， After an hour of fettling, I got back on the road,
但阿斯頓是 絕不是修補。 but the Aston was by no means mended.
我要搬家了，這很好。 但我只有一件裝備 I'm moving, which is good. But I've only got one gear
我不知道發生了什麼 到發動機或其他任何東西 and I've no idea what's happening to the engine or anything else
因為沒有我的 儀表正在工作。 cos none of my gauges are working.
溫度，沒什麼。 Temperature, nothing.
這就是為什麼它不是 讓我換檔。 That's why it's not letting me change gear.
它沒有給我任何信息 因為它沒有得到任何信息。 It's not giving me any information because it's not getting any information.
哦你好。燃油鮑澤。 Oh, hello. The fuel bowser.
好吧，我不知道我是否有 任何燃料，但無論如何我都會得到一些。 Well, I've no idea if I've got any fuel, but I'll get some anyway.
我的儀表不起作用。 My gauge doesn't work.
- 哦，看。 - 他在這裡。 - Oh, look. - Here he is.
- 它正在工作！ - 是的。或多或少。 - It's working! - Yes. More or less.
我只是要讓它休息一下。 I'm just gonna give it a rest.
- 你有多少個齒輪？ - 一。 - How many gears have you got? - One.
- 哪一個？ - 我不知道。 - Which one? - I don't know.
絕對的災難。 Absolute catastrophe.
對了，加油。 Right, fuel.
- 我不知道我是否需要它。 - 我沒有... - I've no idea if I need it. - I didn't have...
- 你沒有撥號盤。 - 我什麼都沒有！ - You've no dials. - I've got nothing!
它也這樣做。我 不知道那是什麼。 It does that as well. I don't know what that is.
你從未聽過邦德的阿斯頓 聽起來是這樣，是嗎？ You never heard Bond's Aston sounding like that, did you?
- 聽起來棒極了。 - 邦德，你開得有多快？ - Sounds brilliant. - How fast were you going, Bond?
「我不知道。Speedo 是 破碎的。我只有一件裝備。」 "I don't know. Speedo were broken. I only had one gear."
- 你知道什麼嗎？ - 什麼？ - Do you know what? - What?
- 我們已經在這裡三天了。 - 是的。 - We've been here three days. - Yeah.
- 我一定喝了 60 升水。 - 簡單的。 - I must have drunk 60 litres of water. - Easy.
我一次都沒尿過，現在 我認為這鼓勵了它。 I haven't peed once and now I think this has encouraged it.
我能感覺到有人來了。 我要去砍一刀。 I can feel one coming. I'm gonna go for a slash.
- 我還沒尿過 - 不，不需要！ - I haven't had a pee. - No, don't need it!
嗯，太陽已經沸騰了 這一切都出自我們之手。但... Well, the sun has boiled it all out of us. But...
但它實際上...不，真的， 自從我來到這裡之後，我還沒有尿過尿。 But it's actually got... No, genuinely, I haven't had a pee since I got here.
去喝一杯吧。 Go and have one.
我會嘗試，因為 有一陣子了。 I'm gonna try, because it's been a while.
我絕對還是 不想要一個。 I definitely still don't want one.
幾分鐘後 就任該職位， After a few minutes of assuming the position,
我們終於有了一些 有點成功。 we finally had some sort of success.
你知道你得到了那些圖表 告訴你小便的顏色。 You know you get those charts that tell you the colour of your pee.
- 它告訴您您的健康狀況。 - 是的。 - It tells you how healthy you are. - Yeah.
該顏色不在該圖表上。 This colour's not on that chart.
這只是一股細細的熱流 沙子從吸管裡掉下來。 This is just a thin stream of hot sand falling through a milk straw.
我的就像樓梯欄杆。 Mine's like a stair banister.
我其實可以拉它， 它製成了太妃糖。 I could actually pull it, and it's made a toffee.
可能會這樣做 再過一周。 Might do that again in another week.
啊! 我的座位太熱了。 Ah! My seat is so hot.
點火開關打開。儀表板關閉。 Ignition on. Dashboard off.
那是有效的。 That is working.
我有驅動嗎？ Do I have drive?
不，是的，我願意。 No, yes, I do.
- 那是什麼？ - 什麼……？什麼？ - What was that? - What the...? What?
這是什麼東西？ What the hell was that?
什麼？為什麼會……？ What? Why would it...?
為什麼你 把它綁在燃油弓上？ Why did you tie it to the fuel bowser?
你和我當時... You and I were...
可能。 May.
- 你做了這個了嗎？ - 什麼？ - Did you do this? - What?
好吧，有人綁了 它到燃料庫。 Well, somebody tied it to the fuel bowser.
如果燃油怎麼辦 鮑澤爆炸了？ What if the fuel bowser had blown up?
哦，我知道那是什麼。 Oh, I know what that is.
詭異的氣象 條件可能會混亂 The freaky meteorological conditions can tangle up
一點零散的帶子吹動 周圍，??並將其綁在東西上。 a stray bit of strop blowing around, and tie it onto things.
那是我的家。 That's my home.
我無法把它裝回去。 I can't put it back on.
- 因為它被砸碎了。 - 真是運氣太差了。我們走吧。 - Cos it's smashed. - What a rotten bit of luck. Let's go.
這意味著我們將有 看看阿斯頓·馬丁 DB9 That means we're going to have to look at an Aston Martin DB9
開車經過 沙漠而不是... driving through the desert and not...
一輛地鐵出租車。 a Metrocab.
- 這是工作場所的欺凌行為。 - 我沒有做！我當時正小便。 - This is bullying in the workplace. - I didn't do it! I was having a piss.
嗯，這不是小便。我曾是 從我的身體裡噴出一些羅洛斯。 Well, it wasn't a piss. I was ejecting some Rolos from my body.
那是一輛漂亮的車 你已經到了，哈蒙德。 That's a beautiful car you've got there, Hammond.
住口。 Shut up.
今天我們的計劃是 抵達首都努瓦克肖特。 Today our plan was to reach the capital city of Nouakchott.
正如我們沒想到的 那會花費太長時間， And as we didn't think that would take too long,
我建議了一個 文化轉移。 I suggested a cultural diversion.
我昨天正在跟嗯說話 圖書館外有一位老婦人， I was talking yesterday to um, an old woman outside that library,
她說如果我們繼續 沿著這條路走下去， and she said if we keep going down this road,
我們到達這個巨大的 沙漠中的眼睛。 we get to this enormous eye in the desert.
什麼？ What?
顯然，它被稱為 非洲之眼。 Apparently, it's called the Eye of Africa.
這應該是 地球上最神奇的事情。 It's supposed to be the most amazing thing on Earth.
- 是嗎？ - 這是一個奇怪的地質事件。 - Is it? - It's a weird geological event.
但也有人說這是 失落之城亞特蘭蒂斯。 But some people say it's the Lost City of Atlantis.
這實際上是... 沒有人知道這件事 It was actually... Nobody knew about it
直到阿波羅宇航員 從太空看到的。 until the Apollo astronauts saw it from space.
真的嗎？ Really?
我知道這聽起來難以置信 但她就是這麼說的。 I know it sounds implausible, but that's what she said.
她是否也嘗試過出售 你有魔豆嗎？ Did she also try and sell you some magic beans?
如果我們加快步伐， If we pick up the pace a bit,
我們有時間花 一會兒尋找它。 we'd have the time to spend a little while looking for it.
我無法接聽 步伐。我有一件裝備。 I can't pick up the pace. I've got one gear.
好吧，聽著，梅和我 可以組成先遣隊 Well, listen, May and I can form an advance party
通過撿起 節奏，好嗎？ by picking up the pace, all right?
當我們找到它時， 我們會給你響鈴。 And when we find it, we'll give you a bell.
如果你找到備用的 還有帳篷，我將不勝感激。 If you find a spare tent as well, I'd be grateful.
帶我到眼睛 非洲的。我來了！ Taking me to the Eye of Africa. Here I come!
那個超級充電器。 吃。吃燃料！ That super charger. Eat. Eat fuel!
裡面還有什麼 沙漠，還有巨大的眼睛？ What else is out there in the desert, along with the gigantic eye?
一個巨大的鼻子。 A massive nose.
我知道有一對 那裡有巨大的山雀。 I know there's a pair of huge tits out there.
取得了良好的成績 在光滑的停機坪上取得進展， Having made good progress on the smooth tarmac,
詹姆斯和我正接近 神秘之眼的位置。 James and I were nearing the location of the mysterious eye.
好吧，詹姆斯。如果 老婦人是可信的 OK, James. If the old woman is to be believed
巨大的眼睛就在這裡。 the gigantic eye is along here.
沒有眼睛。 There isn't an eye.
好吧，你不會的 說當你登上那座山時， Well, you won't be saying that when you crest that hill,
並且有一個巨大的 眼睛在那裡。你只要看著就行了。 and there's an enormous eye there. You just watch.
向後退了好幾英里， A good few miles back,
我加入對方的機會 兩個人變得更苗條。 my chances of joining the other two were becoming slimmer.
對了，儀表剛剛來 簡短地說，這是個壞消息， Right, gauges have just come on briefly, and it's bad news,
溫度確實很高。 temperature really high.
我能做的就是 All I can do
是按照音調所說的進行 我的一檔轉速為 2,000 RPM， is proceed at what pitch tells me is 2,000 RPM in my one gear,
我可以停下來 並把我的屋頂蓋起來。 and I could do with stopping and putting my roof up.
我要停下來 宏偉的村莊廣場， I'm gonna pull up in this magnificent village square,
因為我正在被煮熟。 because I'm being cooked.
我屈服了。 I give in.
他們可以用他們的 屋頂關閉。我不夠勇敢。 They can drive with their roofs off. I'm not brave enough.
請不要被卡住。 Please don't be stuck.
天啊！ Oh God!
不，這是不可接受的。 No, that's not acceptable.
哦！ Ooh!
天哪，我剛剛... Christ, I've just...
嗯... Um...
這就是翻車 在崩潰中部署。 That's the rollover that deploys in a crash.
那挺好的。 That's good.
嗯，這樣的事不能再發生了 它可以？它消失了。就是看看……啊。 Well, it can't happen again, can it? It's gone. It's just see... ah.
嗯，我只是嘗試 啟動它，它，它...... Um, I just tried to start it, and it's, it's...
事情剛剛發生了很多 情況真的很快惡化！ Things just got a lot worse really quickly!
與此同時，在沙漠深處， Meanwhile, deep in the desert,
我們還沒找到 我們正在尋找什麼。 we still hadn't found what we were looking for.
沒有眼睛，沒有眼睛，沒有眼睛。 No eye, no eye, no eye.
駱駝，駱駝 有眼睛，卻沒有眼睛。 Camels, camels' eyes, but no eyes.
基督，就是 可怕的噪音！ Christ, that is a terrible noise!
啊啊。 Aghh.
這有什麼意義， 克拉克森？沒有巨大的眼球。 What is the point of this, Clarkson? There is no giant eyeball.
我們只是在破壞汽車。 We're just wrecking the cars.
為了更堅持一點 我們可能會克服那裡的波峰， For a bit more persevering we might just get over that crest there,
就在那裡。 and there it is.
胡說！ Bollocks!
公雞！ Cock!
我被困住了，這是你的錯。 I'm stuck, and it's your fault.
所有這些東西都是關於 從外太空看。 All this stuff about seeing from outer space.
想想這件事， 中國的長城，著名的 Think about the thing, the Great Wall of China, famously
「你可以看到 來自太空。」 "you can see that from out of space."
當你也可以看到它 你就站在它旁邊。 You can also see it when you're standing next to it.
它就在那裡。你只是，你 不會讓我去看看。 It is there. You just, you won't let me go and have a look for it.
或者它可能是一個 吉普賽玫瑰告訴你的童話， Or it might have been a fairytale that Gypsy Rose told you,
因為你給了她 1.5 英鎊。 because you'd given her ￡1.50.
好吧，好吧， 好吧，我會……我們會屈服的。 All right, all right, fine, well I'll... we'll give in.
我不喜歡屈服 但我會屈服。 I don't like giving in, but I'm going to give in.
是的，但你在給予 在尋找像眼睛這樣的東西時 Yeah, but you're giving in looking for something like an eye
在非洲中部。 in the middle of Africa.
- 是的，這是一隻巨大的眼睛。 - 巨大，但是多大呢？ - Yes, it's a huge eye. - Huge, but how huge?
嗯，這就是她的方式 形容它像巨大的巨大。 Well, it's, the way she described it, like massive huge.
- 順便問一下，哈蒙德在哪裡？ - 這是個好問題。 - Where's Hammond, by the way? - That is a good question.
我假設他不是 懶得過來看看眼睛 I'm assuming he's not bothered to coming to look at the eye
因為他只是覺得…… cos he just thinks...
好吧，我知道這可能是 毫無意義的練習，但讓我們... OK, I know this is probably a pointless exercise, but let's...
根本沒有信號。 No signal at all.
那是沒有幫助的。 That is of no help.
沒有巨額金額 流出的液體， There's no huge amounts of fluid that've come out,
但即使他們有，那也不會 解釋一下它只是死在鑰匙上。 but even if they had, that wouldn't explain it just being dead at the key.
明顯是電動的啊 It's clearly electrics.
如果它2005年的大腦很虛弱 已經放棄了，我已經擁有了。 If its feeble 2005 brain has given up, I've had it.
唯一的另一件事，電池。 The only other thing, battery.
那還沒有變平 它？但它就在這個座位後面。 That's not gone flat has it? But it's behind this seat.
哦親愛的主！救恩！ Oh dear Lord! Salvation!
決不。不掛斷， 讓我檢查一下。 No way. Hang on, let me just check.
電池端子帶電 已經動搖了。 The live battery terminal has shaken loose.
從字面上看，這已經動搖了 本身就被撤銷了。就是這樣。 Literally this has shaken itself undone. It was like that.
我走了，然後 還有更多好消息， I got going, and there was more good news,
因為變速箱已經決定了 實際上再次成為變速箱。 because the gearbox had decided to actually be a gearbox again.
阿斯頓·馬丁！是啊哈哈哈！ Aston Martin! Yeah ha ha ha!
我有齒輪和一切。 I've got gears, and everything.
同時，在我們的 回到主路， Meanwhile, on our way back to the main road,
梅和我相當 被我們發現的東西分散了注意力。 May and I had been rather distracted by something we had found.
這個。 This.
- 該死的諾拉，看看這個！ - 你看！ - Bloody Nora, look at this! - Hey, look!
耶穌哭了！ Jesus wept!
- 呵呵呵。 - 那是綠洲嗎？ - Ho ho ho ho. - Is that an oasis?
從字面上看沒有 證明我是英國人。 Literally no evidence that I'm English.
等待。 Wait.
過來坐吧。我剛剛有 我們應該聽的事情。 Come and have a seat. I've got just the thing we should be listening to.
我找不到什麼值得紀念的東西 理查德·哈蒙德的去世。 I can't find anything to commemorate the demise of Richard Hammond.
你知道戈登·萊特富特 今天也死了。所以... You know Gordon Lightfoot also died today. So...
- 他是嗎？ - 是的。 - Did he? - Yeah.
? 如果你能讀 我的心，愛? ♪ If you could read my mind, love ♪
? 這真是一個故事啊我的 思想可以告訴你? ♪ What a tale my thoughts could tell ♪
? 就像一部老電影 ? ♪ Just like an old time movie ♪
? '關於鬼魂 來自許願井? ♪ 'Bout a ghost from a wishing well ♪
? 在黑暗的城堡裡 或是堅固的堡壘? ♪ In a castle dark or a fortress strong ♪
? 我的腳上戴著鎖鏈 ? ♪ With chains upon my feet ♪
? 你知道那個幽靈就是我 ? ♪ You know that ghost is me ♪
? 而我永遠不會獲得自由 ? ♪ And I will never be set free ♪
? 只要我是 幽靈，你看不見? ♪ As long as I'm a ghost, you can't see ♪
只是為了給你一個 毛裡塔尼亞有多空虛的想法， Just to give you an idea of how empty Mauritania is,
我現在已經做了一個 在此百英里， I've now done a hundred miles on this,
主幹道的一側 一個國家對另一個國家來說， the main road from one side of the country to the other,
我還沒有看到另一個 一輛車，沒有一輛車，什麼也沒有。 and I haven't seen another car, not one, nothing.
只是... It's just...
它傷害你的頭， it hurts your head,
這件事的嚴重性 地方，以及空虛。 the bigness of this place, and the emptiness.
我確實相信這是 一輛毀容的阿斯頓·馬丁。 I do believe it's a disfigured Aston Martin.
是的，確實如此。 Yes, it is.
我的同事追上了我 My colleagues caught up with me
就像我的鬧鬼汽車一樣 又開始播放了…… just as my haunted car started to play up... again.
我丟了變速箱。 I've lost gearbox.
哦，現在它發出嘟嘟聲了！ Oh, now it's beeping!
為什麼我的窗戶打開了？ Why have my windows opened?
為什麼我的……誰……我沒問 他們。為什麼我的窗戶打開了？ Why have my... who... I didn't ask them. Why have my windows opened?
它主動不服從 現在還在折磨我。 It's actively disobeying and tormenting me now.
呃，決定 打開窗戶， It's, uh, decided to open the windows,
並拿走 換檔能力， and take away the ability to change gear,
伴隨著令人發狂的嘟嘟聲。 accompanied by a maddening beep.
我認為 可能會發出蜂鳴聲 I thought the beeping might be happening
因為汽車不相信 我的屋頂已正確固定。 because the car didn't believe my roof was secured properly.
所以，我把車停在了路邊 來測試我的理論。 So, I pulled over to test my theory.
混蛋！ Bastard!
還在響！ It's still beeping!
它有一個非常方便的屋頂，你 只要按下按鈕，它就會下降， It's got a very convenient roof, you just press the button, and it goes down,
然後你必須 出去跳上它。 and then you have to get out and jump on it.
他們確實說人們是 過了一會兒，他在沙漠裡發瘋了。 They do say that people are driven mad in the desert after a while.
那麼在 中間？中間那一點。 What about in the middle? The bit in the middle.
這樣的一個yobbo。 Such a yobbo.
別再發出嘟嘟聲了！ 沒關係！ Just stop beeping! It's all right!
你說你認為 你可能處於二檔？ Did you say you thought you might be in second gear?
好吧，它不會告訴我什麼裝備 我參加了，但我認為這是第二位，是的。 Well, it won't tell me what gear I'm in, but I think it's second, yes.
但是如果我走得更快的話 過熱得非常快。 But if I go any faster, it overheats very quickly.
詹姆斯，我們再一次 我們面臨兩難的境地，不是嗎？ James, once again we face a dilemma, don't we?
我們一路驅車前往 以每小時 38 英里的速度滑行， We drive all the way to the coast at 38 miles an hour,
或者...我們不。 or... we don't.
讓我想想 那個有點。 Let me think about that one for a bit.
我已經來到了 同樣的結論。 I've come to the same conclusion.
絕對的混蛋。 Absolute bastards.
還有 200英里去首都。 There were still 200 miles to go to the capital.
所以詹姆斯和我把車停在了路邊 So James and I pulled over
在一個小鎮去約會 與燃油弓。 in a small town to rendezvous with the fuel bowser.
我們得到了意想不到的獎金。 And we got an unexpected bonus.
這是一條跑道。 This is a runway.
是的。 Yes.
我只是想也許... I'm just thinking maybe...
當我們等待哈蒙德時 while we're waiting for Hammond,
我們可以做一些汽車 我們車裡的東西給我編程。 we could do some car stuff in our car program me.
- 你有什麼考慮？ - 嗯，我正在考慮一場短程加速賽。 - What do you have in mind? - Well, I'm thinking of a drag race.
哦，多好的主意啊。 Oh, what a good idea.
那就相當了 有趣的是，如果你仔細想想。 It'd be quite interesting, if you think about it.
我一直想知道 事實上自從我們出發以來。 And I have wanted to know actually since we set off.
你的力量比 我有，你沒有嗎？你有... You've got a lot more power than I have, haven't you? You've got...
我有更多的力量。我有 434，但我的體重更大了。 I've got more power. I've got 434, but I've got more weight.
你有434馬力。我是 375. 這個有多重？ You're 434 horsepower. I'm 375. How much does this weigh?
- 2噸。 - 因為我1.6歲。 - 2 tons. - Cos I'm 1.6.
- 那就相當... - 有趣的... - It'd be quite... - Interesting...
這將是一個有趣的實驗 女士們先生們。 It'd be an interesting experiment, for the ladies and gentlemen.
是的。 Yes.
所以，既然決定了， 我們駛向跑道盡頭， And so, with that decided, we headed to the end of the runway,
豎起一些阻力 比賽用具， erected some drag race paraphernalia,
並為出發做好準備。 and prepared for the off.
對了，我該怎麼辦 需要？運動模式， Right, what do I need? Sport mode,
是的！牽引力 控制，我想了想。 yes! Traction control, I think off.
我是手動的，但由於 我改裝這輛車的獨特方式， I'm in manual, but due to the unique way I've modified this car,
我無法改變 任何程序。 I'm unable to change any of the programs.
嗯，由於獨特的方式 你把我的車裝滿了沙子 Well, due to the unique way you filled my car with sand,
我有一些麻煩 按鈕，但我現在已經拿到了。 I have some trouble with the buttons, but I've got it now.
等一下。你看誰在這兒啊。 Wait a minute. Look who's here.
終結者 3：機器的崛起。 Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.
- 恰逢其時。 - 什麼？ - Just in time. - What?
- 恰逢其時。 - 做什麼的？ - Just in time. - What for?
飆車比賽。 Drag race.
我並不是真的在一個 進行直線加速賽的位置。 I'm not really in a position to do a drag race.
- 把它關掉。 - 啊，不，不，不。 - Turn it off. - Ah, no, no, no.
那將是一個糟糕的舉動。 That would be a poor move.
- 為什麼你不能把它關掉？ - 它可能永遠不會再開始。 - Why can't you turn it off? - It probably will never start again.
你知道我們正處於邊緣 開始一場非常緊張的飆車比賽？ You know we were on the verge of starting a very tense drag race?
你看過終結者3嗎？ Have you seen Terminator 3?
人們不禁好奇 很多年了 People have wondered for many years
天網什麼時候 變得完全自我意識。 when would Skynet become fully self-aware.
駕駛阿斯頓·馬丁 在毛裡塔尼亞，沒有人預見到這一情況的發生。 In an Aston Martin being driven by you in Mauritania, no one saw that coming.
如果這個白癡學會了怎麼辦？ 與其他機器通信。 What if this idiot learns to communicate with other machines.
- 這很愚蠢，不是嗎？ - 這是個白癡！ - It is moronic, isn't it? - It's a moron!
呃，哈蒙德，哈蒙德。 Uh, Hammond, Hammond.
- 什麼？ - 那是什麼？ - What? - What's that?
到底是什麼鬼東西 是在這裡做的嗎？ What the bloody hell is that doing here?
- 那是你的一個嗎？ - 出色地... - Is that one of yours? - Well...
- 你是什麼意思，我的一個？ - 還會有什麼？ - What do you mean, one of mine? - What else is it going to be?
- 已經過去多久了？ - 自從他放手以來。 - How long has it been going? - Since he let it loose.
- 那是150英里之外。天啊！ - 你把它釋放到沙漠裡了。 - That was 150 miles away. Oh Jesus! - You released it into the desert.
- 哦，你不... - 那是什麼，這是... - Oh, you don't... - What that, it's...
天啊！ Jeez!
噢。 Awww.
- 那是你的錯。 - 什麼？ - That was your fault. - What?
嗯，這是你的雪地摩托。 他們不是撒哈拉沙漠中的其他人。 Well, it was your snowmobile. They aren't any others in the Sahara.
我不可能預測到 它會擊中燃油噴射器。 I can't possibly have predicted that it would hit the fuel bowser.
- 你釋放了它... - 150 英里外。 - You released it... - From 150 miles away.
- 你把它放回野外了。 - 我沒有釋放它。它逃走了！ - You released it into the wild. - I didn't release it. It escaped!
- 我們被告知要守規矩。 - 是的。 - We were told to behave ourselves. - Yes.
我想我們應該離開了 I think we should depart.
是的，我們該走了。嗯... Yeah, we should go. Um...
- 相當快？ - 是的。 - Fairly quickly? - Yes.
請換檔。立即換檔。 Please change gear. Change gear now.
現在！現在是時候了。 現在是……現在是時候了。 Now! Now is the time. It's... now is the time.
別跟我爭論。現在 是時候換檔了！ Don't argue with me. Now is the time to change gear!
詹姆斯和我 以輕快的速度覆蓋地面， James and I covered ground at a brisk pace,
放置盡可能多的距離 我們和爆炸之間 putting as much distance between us and the explosion
盡可能。 as possible.
很快我們就被 我們周圍環境的荒涼之美。 And soon we became consumed by the stark beauty of our surroundings.
兩邊的景色， 尤其是那一面，更是蔚為壯觀。 The view on both sides, especially that side, is spectacular.
幾乎就像雪一樣 沙丘，沙子是那麼蒼白。 It's almost like snow dunes, the sand is so pale.
這是夢幻般的。 It's fantastic.
我的體溫 已暴跌至 37。 My temperature has plummeted to 37.
哦，是的，我已經38歲了。 Oh yes, I'm down to 38.
哇！這確實很冷。 Wow! That's positively chilly.
最終，傑裡米 我到達了首都， Eventually, Jeremy and I arrived in the capital city,
事情很快就變得清晰 where it soon became clear
我們並不像 我們在世界其他地方。 that we aren't as well known as we are in other parts of the world.
理查德！ Richard!
有人只是 叫我「理查德」。 Somebody just called me "Richard."
如果這個年輕人 想見見真正的理查德， If the young man wanted to see the real Richard,
他會等很長時間， he'd be waiting a long while,
考慮到哈蒙德和 終結者正在前進。 given how Hammond and the Terminator were getting on.
回來。工作吧，你這個混蛋。 Come back. Work, you twat.
我們可不可以只... 好吧，這是你的變速箱。 Can we not just... OK, it's your gearbox.
我們能想到嗎 它作為我們的變速箱？ Can we think of it as our gearbox?
我們倆共用一個變速箱。 We both, we share a gearbox.
中央 鎖定剛剛關閉。 The central locking just went off.
它只是鎖上了門。 It just locked its doors.
幾個小時後， Several hours later,
天網推動了我的發展 齒輪車進入努瓦克肖特， Skynet propelled my one gear car into Nouakchott,
哪裡有 無線網絡足夠好 where there was good enough Wi-Fi
讓我連接 汽車的大腦出現故障 for me to connect the car's malfunctioning brain
連接到診斷筆記本電腦。 to a diagnostic laptop.
對，一檔行駛 200 英里。 Right, 200 miles on one gear.
所以筆記本電腦，我用零與它交談 還有它能理解的語言。 So laptop, I'm talking to it in zeros and ones, the language it understands.
我現在要看看 它在恐慌什麼。 And I'm now going to see what it's panicking about.
令人擔心的是 很多。我的天啊！ It's worrying about a lot. Oh my God!
我是乘客門模型， 它正在擔心它的門。 I'm in passenger door model, it's worrying about its door.
擔心你的變速箱。 Worry about your gearbox.
全球定位模塊， 這就是我來諾丁漢的原因。 Global positioning module, that's why I was in Nottingham.
我不相信大多數 這些都是機械故障。 I don't believe most of these are mechanical faults.
沒有出什麼問題。 它只是生氣了。 Nothing's gone wrong. It's just got upset.
如果我擊中這個， If I hit this,
這基本上是 「別擔心」按鈕。 this is basically the "don't worry" button.
我會去做的。 I'm going to do it.
忘掉它。 它正在清除它們。 Forget about it. It's clearing them.
請給我控制權 的車，讓我開車。 Please, give me control of the car, and let me drive.
所以，希望... So, hopefully...
沒法看。 Can't look.
是的！就這樣吧！ Yeah! There you go!
這沒什麼好抱怨的。 That's nothing to moan about.
所以我想我已經有了齒輪。 So I think I've got gears.
第二天早上，如 我們出發去城裡看看， The next morning, as we set off to look around town,
這是關鍵時刻。 it was the moment of truth.
它改變了齒輪！它改變了 齒輪！它改變了齒輪！ It changed gear! It changed gear! It changed gear!
我有齒輪。它 剛剛換了檔。 I've got gears. It just changed gear.
所以，約翰·康納， 你正在反擊。 So, John Connor, you're fighting back.
哦，是的！ Oh yes!
我們的目標是 去觀光， Our aim was to do a bit of sightseeing,
但立即 我們分心了 but immediately we got distracted
因英雄的光輝 毛裡塔尼亞的汽車。 by the heroic brilliance of Mauritania's cars.
是的，暫停已經取消了。 Yes, the suspension's gone.
他剛剛墜毀了。 他剛剛墜毀。 He's just crashed. He just crashed.
那聲音就是那個聲音嗎？ Is that what that noise was?
也許，對某些的一種解釋 這輛車發生的車禍 Maybe, one explanation for some of the crashes that happened to this car
事實是你 看不出來。 is the fact that you can't see out of it.
什麼時候，什麼時候 它不再是一輛車了嗎？ When, when does it stop being a car?
我想當它停止時 移動。到那時，它就是一輛車。 I suppose when it stops moving. Until then, it's a car.
我想有一天它會開車 亮起，然後就消失了。 I think one day it's driving on, and just disappears.
呃。 Eww.
哦，那不太好。 Oh, that wasn't good.
他要去 堅持下去，他會繼續前進。 He's going to keep, he's gonna keep going.
極好的。 Fantastic.
他無法停下來。那 那傢伙必須抓住門。 He can't stop. That bloke got to hang on to the door.
- 另一個。 - 是的。 - Another one. - Yes.
我喜歡 行人安全功能。 I like the pedestrian safety feature.
但它正在發揮作用！它是... But it's working! It's...
你擔心的哈蒙德 你的阿斯頓，說實話...... Hammond you worried about your Aston, and honestly...
好吧，這就是為什麼我不能 鬧騰不是嗎？ Well, that's why I can't make a fuss, isn't it?
我的意思是，我只 有點開始了。 I mean, I've only kind of started.
已經搭好 這些毛裡塔尼亞戰馬， Having lapped up these Mauritanian war horses,
我們決定去 去咖啡館喝一杯...... we decided to go to a cafe for a drink...
熱棕色水。 of hot brown water.
MOT 測試的作用是什麼 我想知道中心看起來像這裡。 What does an MOT testing centre look like here I wonder.
無形的。 啊! 一輛奔馳。 Invisible. Ah! A Mercedes.
瞧，每一個 面板，不止一次。 Look, every panel, more than once.
不只一次。 Not just once.
哦耶， 這是一生的工作。 Oh yeah, that's a lifetime's work.
約翰，你的車怎麼樣了， 還是天網仍然獲勝？ And, John, how's your car, or is Skynet still winning?
我正在與之鬥爭，並且 它正在反擊。 I'm fighting it, and it's fighting back.
有沒有說：「是 你是莎拉·康納嗎？」 Has it said, "Are you Sarah Connor?"
我想知道我是否可以註冊成為 博格的一部分，並直接與它戰鬥。 I'm wondering if I can sign up to be part of the Borg, and fight it directly.
那是一塊餅乾！ That is a cracker!
看那個。 Look at that.
- 很棒的一個，看看那個。 - 那很好。 - Great one, look at that one. - That's nice.
他在巡航， 將手臂伸出窗外。 He's cruising, arm out the window.
雖然不是茶，但也很好喝 甚至你也會說這很好。 That isn't tea, but it is quite nice, and even you will say it's quite nice.
裡面可能有一些茶。 It might have some tea in it.
- 我寧願喝杯啤酒。 - 你什麼？ - I'd rather have a beer. - You what?
我寧願喝杯啤酒。 I'd rather have a beer.
現在在那方面... Now on that front...
我知道有一條鏈子 未取得許可證的 I know of a chain of off-licences
存在於每一個個體中 世界上的首都， to be found in every single capital city in the world,
即使在乾燥的國家，穆斯林 像這個國家，非常乾燥， and even in a dry country, a Muslim country like this one, which is very dry,
你總是可以得到一杯杜松子酒 滋補品或一品脫提神的啤酒。 you could always get a gin and tonic or a refreshing pint of beer.
這裡有無執照。 它叫什麼？ An off-licence here. What's it called?
它無處不在。它是 給英國大使館打電話。 It's everywhere. It's called the British Embassy.
啊! 是嗎？ Ah! Is it?
最好的排序。 Best sort.
那是 英國主權領土。 That is sovereign British territory.
是的。 Yes.
他們一定會歡迎 我們，或許你更不如此， They're bound to welcome us, perhaps less so you,
然後我們就可以 喝一杯清涼的飲料。 and then we can have a refreshing drink.
- 它在哪裡？ - 喝完茶。 - Where is it? - Finish your tea.
我不想要它。 I don't want it.
在哈蒙德的堅持下， 我找到了大使館的電話號碼， At Hammond's insistence, I found the number for the embassy,
給我們預約了， 然後我們就去了那裡... got us an appointment, and we headed over there...
立即。 immediately.
這是我的 這份工作最喜歡的部分， This is my favourite part of this job,
來到這樣的一個小鎮... getting to a town like this...
只是你得到的嗡嗡聲 來自這樣的小鎮。 Just the buzz you get from a town like this.
戈登·貝內特！ Gordon Bennett!
哈蒙德出了事故。 Hammond's had an accident.
他剛剛撞了我的阿斯頓。 He's just rammed my Aston.
哦不，有人被驅趕了 進入他原始的 DB9。 Oh no, someone's driven into his pristine DB9.
你應該開車 更仔細一點，哈蒙德。 You should drive more carefully, Hammond.
不是我！他 剛剛經歷過。 It wasn't me! He just went through.
好的，我們有贏家了。女士們 先生們，我們有勝利者了。 OK, we have a winner. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.
-哦！ - 我不知道那是什麼， - Oh! - I have no idea what it is,
或者曾經是。 or was.
嗯，其實我 真的不知道那是什麼。 Well, I actually genuinely don't know what that was.
沒有任何線索， 但它有點像旅行車。 Not a clue, but it's a bit of estate car.
我認為這就是 我們的汽車定位到此結束， I think that's the end of our car spotting here,
因為你只是 無法擊敗。 because you simply cannot beat that.
幾次無崩潰之後 英里，我們到達了英國大使館。 After a few crash-free miles, we arrived at the British Embassy.
就在這裡， 章節。這是我們的俱樂部。 It's here, chaps. Here is our club.
你對他們講話嗎 作為您的大使， Do you address them as Your Ambassadorship,
或者類似的東西？ or something like that?
是的，你的至尊存在臀部。 Yes, your Supreme-beings hip.
或者直接叫「房東」怎麼樣？ Or how about just 'landlord'?
杜松子酒！ Gin!
無論如何，聽著，聽著。 Anyway, listen, listen.
當有人說時我覺得很有禮貌 「我可以請你喝一杯嗎？」你說，不， I find it polite when somebody says "Can I offer you a drink," you say, no,
然後他們說，「你是嗎？ 當然，」然後你說，「嗯……」 and then they're, "Are you sure," and you go, "Well..."
你看看 你的手錶，然後走， And you look at your watch, and go,
「嗯，好吧，就這麼一個。」 "Well, all right, just the one."
但你不說 是的，馬上。 But you don't say yes straight away.
因為，「你想要一杯杜松子酒嗎？ 和補品？」 「是的！」 別那樣做。 Because, "Would you like a gin and tonic?" "Yes!" Don't do that.
是的，我認為是 有禮貌，對，對，對。 Yeah, I think it's polite, yes, yes, yeah.
我只能想到杜松子酒。 I can only think about gin.
哦，那是非常 好的。哦，這不是很好嗎。 Ooh that's very nice. Ooh isn't that very nice.
- 只有英國人才這麼做。 - 有一片草坪。 - Only the British do this. - There's a lawn.
- 那是一片草坪。 - 有一個酒吧，但別看它。 - That's a lawn. - There's a bar, but don't look at it.
- 嘿！ - 早上好。 - Hey! - Good morning.
好的 早晨。你好嗎？ Good morning. How are you?
科林·威爾斯. 很高興認識 你。你看起來很聰明。 Colin Wells. It's very nice to meet you. You're looking very smart.
- 哦是的。 - 你好。 - Oh yes. - Hello.
他整晚都在戰鬥 終結者。因此襯衫。 He spent all night fighting the Terminator. Hence the shirt.
成功地。 Successfully.
- 請進去。 - 謝謝。 - Please go inside. - Thank you.
進展如何？ How's it been going?
不錯 事實上，對於我們兩個人來說。 Pretty good actually, for us two.
嗯，當我們 我們發現我們要去毛裡塔尼亞， Um, we were slightly confused when we found we were coming to Mauritania,
因為當我們 旅行得很好， cos while we're quite well travelled,
我們都看，我們所有人...好吧， 他認為它根本不存在。 we all look, all of us... Well, he didn't think it existed at all.
他認為這是一個 CS劉易斯的發明。 He thought it was a C.S. Lewis invention.
但你感覺如何， 你什麼時候收到帖子的？ But what did you feel like, when you got the posting?
很高興哦。我 想來這裡。 Oh very happy. I wanted to come here.
- 你想要嗎？ - 我想來這裡。 - You wanted to? - I wanted to come here.
- 你知道它在哪裡。 - 我確實知道它在哪裡 - You knew where it was. - I did know where it was,
以及我生命中的很多人 以為我要去毛里求斯 and a lot of people in my life thought I was going to Mauritius
當我告訴他們我 本來要去毛裡塔尼亞。 when I told them I was going to Mauritania.
確切地。「是的，我有 毛里求斯。」毛裡塔尼亞？ Exactly. "Yes, I've got Mauritius." Mauritania?
對不起，我應該給你 一杯喝的。我真的很抱歉。嗯... I'm sorry, I should offer you a drink. I'm really sorry. Um...
- 是的，請。 - 你想喝點什麼嗎？我們有嗯... - Yes please. - Would you like a drink? We've got um...
這裡的茶品種類豐富， a good range of teas here,
如果那是呃...會 你覺得這樣好嗎？ if that would be uh... Would that sound all right to you?
- 我有英式早餐，錫蘭。 - 不，嗯... - I've got English Breakfast, Ceylon. - No, um...
- 茶，是的。 - 是的，可愛的。 - Tea, yes. - Yeah, lovely.
我就去 訂購其中之一。 I'll just go and order one of those.
- 謝謝。 - 請原諒我一會兒。 - Thank you. - Just excuse me just for a moment.
這是非常熱情好客的。 That's very hospitable.
你撒謊。 You lied.
- 現在看看發生了什麼。 - 這是你的錯。 - Now look what's happened. - It's your fault.
- 為什麼是我的錯？ - 你處理不當了。 - Why is it my fault? - You mishandled it.
這是英國的領土。 This is British territory.
我們檢查過他是否喝酒了嗎？ Did we check that he does drink?
我的意思是不太可能 大使不喝酒但是... I mean it's unlikely that an ambassador wouldn't drink but...
你看見他了嗎？ Have you seen him?
那不是一個男人 誰喝了一輩子湯力水。 That's not a man who's drank tonic water all his life.
如果我們立即說， 「其實我可以喝一杯嗎？」 If we'd immediately said, "Actually could I have a drink drink?"
我會同意的。我的好禮貌 讓我們陷入了麻煩。 I will agree. My good manners have got us into a spot of bother here.
是的。 Yes.
我可以問，當我們獨處時， Can I ask whilst we're alone,
因為你是 Jag 司機 你帶著畫回家嗎？ as you're a Jag driver, which painting are you going home with?
因為有一些非常好的。 Cos there's some very nice ones.
- 你要去哪裡？ - 哦，夥計們。 - Where are you going? - Oh, chaps.
我已經把這件事徹底搞清楚了。 I've ballsed this up completely.
這是他的「費拉羅羅氏」。 It's his "Ferraro Roche".
- 你這個蠢貨！ - 好吧，那就是... - You daft sod! - OK, that is...
這不是很低音...這些 人們被訓練得溫文爾雅。 That's not very am bass... These people are trained to be suave.
他們又聰明又酷 They're smart, and cool,
你已經打翻了他們 費列羅羅氏塔，你這個白癡！ and you've knocked over their tower of Ferrero Roche, you cretin!
把那些 以正確的順序返回。 Put those back on in the right order.
- 對不起，我不應該笑。 - 你踩到了那個。 - Sorry, I shouldn't be laughing. - You've trodden on that one.
- 我沒有踩過它。 - 有人有。 - I haven't trodden on it. - Somebody has.
對了，快點坐下。 Right, quickly, sit down.
- 哦，抱歉慢了。 - 哦，我說。 - Oh, sorry to be slow. - Oh, I say.
這是一個相當不錯的鍋。 That's a rather fine pot.
是的， 那是我們的官方陶器。 Yeah, that's our official crockery.
這正是我想要的，一個 喝杯茶，是不是很清爽呢？ That's exactly what I wanted, a cup of tea, it's very refreshing, isn't it?
這是。 It is.
非常感謝。 Thank you very much.
禮貌地喝一兩壺之後， After a polite pot or two,
我們找了借口，然後 能夠繼續我們的城市之旅。 we made our excuses and were able to resume our tour of the city.
讓我們有另一個裝備 改變。來吧，我們再做一次。 Let's have another gear change. Come on, let's do it again.
讓我們再來一次。快點。 Let's do it again. Come on.
哇哦，又換檔了。 Aww, another gear change.
很快，我們就來了 遇到一些相當有趣的事情。 Soon, we came across something rather intriguing.
這裡發生了什麼？ What is going on here?
這是一條非常寬闊的路。 It's a very wide road.
我知道這是什麼。 I know what this is.
什麼？ What?
他們建了一個機場 就在城市旁邊， They built an airport right next to the city,
然後城市不斷發展， 有點淹沒了機場。 and then the city grew, and sort of swamped the airport.
他們還剩下一條跑道 就在首都的中心。 And they've been left with a runway right in the middle of the capital city.
哦，是的，因為看，有 那邊城市比較多，所以... Oh yes, cos look, there's more city over there, so it's...
- 是的。 - 不是在邊緣。它就在裡面。 - Yeah. - It's not on the edge. It's in it.
這不是一個 絕佳的機會 Is this not an excellent opportunity
對於我們未能做到的事情 前幾天，即一場飆車比賽？ for something we failed to do the other day, i.e. a drag race?
哦，是的！ Oooh yes!
跑道是 確實適合飆車。 Runways are indeed for drag races.
- 和他... - 他已經痊癒了。 - And he... - And he's mended.
你可以參加。 You can take part.
我還沒有提出它 邪惡勢力還在那裡， I haven't raised it with the forces of evil in there yet,
但我很想嘗試一下。 but I'd love to have a go.
由於跑道是 和其他廢棄的機場一樣空蕩蕩， Since the runway was as empty as any other abandoned airstrip,
我們決定出發了。 we decided we were good to go.
對了，運動， 牽引力控制關閉， Right, sport, traction control off,
使用槳、太陽鏡 放下，車窗升起，準備就緒。 use the paddles, sunglasses down, windows up, ready.
它取消了運動模式。 It's taken sport mode away.
你瞭解我的運動 按鈕？我決定不能擁有它。 You know my sport button? It's decided I can't have it.
哦不，我又可以了。 Oh no, I can again.
謝謝……師父。 Thank you... Master.
V6、V8、V12。 V6, V8, V12.
哪個最快？ Which would be quickest?
捷豹的良好開端。 A good start from the Jag.
哦！我的車很快！ Oh! My car is fast!
一檔，二檔。 傑出的！它正在工作！ One gear, two gears. Brilliant! It's working!
等一下。 這就是……這就是交通。 Hang on a minute. That is... that's traffic.
跑道上有交通。 天哪，我要... The runway has traffic. Holy shit, I'm gonna have a...
哇！ Whoa!
瘋子！ Maniac!
哎呀，這是什麼…… Jeez, what the...
拉屎！ Shit!
哦親愛的上帝！ Oh dear God!
噢，那是一個……那是一個…… 我正想打那個... Oh, that's a... that's a... I was going to hit that...
聖鉬！ Holy moly!
那是最奇怪的 我曾經參加過直線加速賽。 That was the weirdest drag race I've ever done.
這不是 一條空跑道，是嗎？ This is not an empty runway, is it?
我不認為這是跑道 不再了。我想這可能是一條路。 I don't think it's a runway anymore. I think it might be a road.
我們不要再這樣做了。 Let's not do that again.
謝謝你給我 當我需要的時候剎車。 Thank you for giving me the brakes when I needed them.
我非常感激 我很感激。 I'm very grateful and I appreciate it.
謝謝。 Thank you.
第二天早上， 我們起得很早， The next morning, we were up bright and early,
因為是時候了 離開努瓦克肖特。 because it was time to leave Nouakchott.
這些裝滿沙子的卡車， 他們要把它賣給誰？ These lorries full of sand, who are they going to sell it to?
他們有一些可愛的 這裡有賣沙子。 They've got some lovely sand for sale over here.
這裡有一大堆。 There are big piles of it here.
如果你沒有 就像之前的沙子一樣， In case you didn't like the sand earlier,
那裡有一些沙子。 there's some sand there.
市場競爭非常激烈，沙子。 Very competitive market, sand.
他們為什麼賣沙子？ Why do they sell sand?
您實際上可以步行 30 英尺。 You can literally walk 30 feet.
然後我們離開了 首都，向南前往塞內加爾。 We then left the capital, heading south for Senegal.
幾個小時後，我們開始 注意到我們周圍環境的變化。 And after a few hours, we started to notice a change in our surroundings.
我不會稱之為鬱鬱蔥蔥， I wouldn't call it lush,
但它不那麼貧瘠 到目前為止我們所看到的一切 but it's less barren than anything we've seen so far,
這是肯定的。 that's for sure.
我認為我們已經非常接近 這裡是撒哈拉沙漠的邊緣。 I think we're very close to the edge of the Sahara Desert here.
他們在什麼 正確的？他們是牛嗎？ What are they on the right? Are they cows?
很多牛。這是一群。 那絕對是養殖的。 Many cows. It's a herd. That's definitely been farmed.
看它。 Look at it.
這告訴我 我們已經穿越了撒哈拉沙漠。 And that tells me that we have crossed the Sahara.
你好，牛們。看著你！ Hello, cows. Look at you!
草。我在開車 第一次在草地上 Grass. I'm driving on grass for the first time
感覺像是 500 年。 in what feels like 500 years.
我們正在尋找什麼 是塞內加爾的邊界。 What we're looking for is a border into Senegal.
所以會有，就像，你知道， 一個檢查站。我們走了。 So there'll be, like, you know, a checkpoint. And in we go.
我們又開得更遠了 沿著無數的軌道繼續前行， We drove further and further along the myriad of tracks,
但即使一個小時後， but even after an hour,
我們還沒有發現任何東西 這看起來有點官方。 we still hadn't found anything that looked remotely official.
這該死的邊界在哪裡？ Where's this bloody border?
我期待著，就像，柵欄 也許還有一個檢查站。 I was expecting, like, a fence and a checkpoint, maybe.
是的，護照和 很快。是的，絕對是。 Yeah, a passport and so on. Yeah, definitely.
最後，我們的 搜索似乎取得了成果。 Finally, our search seemed to bear fruit.
這必須是一個 邊城。它一定要是。 This has to be a border town. It has to be.
不好了。 Oh, no.
我有一種可怕的感覺。 I've got a horrible feeling.
休斯頓， Houston,
我們出現了問題。 we have a problem.
我懷疑那就是邊界。 That, I suspect, is the border.
嗯... Um...
對不起，我。 這是塞內加爾嗎？ Excusez-moi. C'est Senegal, la?
塞內加爾。這就是 毛裡塔尼亞？塞內加爾？ Senegal. C'est Mauritanie? Senegal?
塞內加爾，對吧。 Senegal, right.
傑裡米，有一個 路上有一條巨大的河流。 Jeremy, there's a huge river in the way.
邊框有點多 河流比我想像的要多。 The border is a bit more rivery than I thought it was going to be.
- 我以為是柵欄。 - 我做到了。 - I thought a fence. - I did.
沒關係。 有一座橋。 That's all right. There's a bridge.
我會拿出手機。 I'll get my phone out.
你要輸入什麼？ 「我附近的橋樑」？ What are you entering? "Bridges near me"?
有一條路。 There's a road.
我們是最好的探險家。 We're the best explorers.
- 哦，那裡的城鎮。沒有橋。 - 沒有橋。 - Oh, town there. No bridge. - No bridge.
哦，耶穌。 嗯，你怎樣才能... Oh, Jesus. Well, how do you get to...
所以沒有人 曾經開車去那裡嗎？ So nobody ever goes there in a car?
不。 No.
好吧，看，我已經走了 一百英里以下... OK, look, I've gone about a hundred miles down...
- 那是... - 上游，沒有橋。 - That's... - upstream, and there's no bridge.
這正是為什麼 人們以河流為邊界。 This is precisely why people use rivers as borders.
我們可以把車開上嗎... Could we get the cars on...
不。 No.
在那方面？ On that?
其中兩艘船，我 正在思考。有點... Two of those boats, I was thinking about. It's a bit...
但船……堅持下去…… But boats that... Hang on...
如果我們造一艘船怎麼辦？ What if we built a boat?
- 沒有灰塵或沙子？ - 我不是說方舟。 - Out of dust, or sand? - I don't mean an ark.
我只是想說，就像， 一個……那……呢？ I just mean, like, a... What about...
我們這裡有什麼？二， 四、六……近六噸的車。 What have we got here? Two, four, six... Nearly six tons of car.
它實際上並不需要是一個 船。它只需要一個平台。 It doesn't really need to be a boat. It just needs to be a platform.
你看到了什麼 這裡有很多嗎？ What do you see a hell of a lot of here?
就在你站的任何地方？ Just anywhere you stand?
我有什麼 自從我來到這裡後見過嗎？灰塵。 What have I seen since I got here? Dust.
- 沙。 - 山羊。 - Sand. - Goats.
- 駱駝。 - 就是這樣。 - Camels. - That's it.
- 還有一件事... - 有沙子，有駱駝。 - And one other thing... - There's sand, there's camels.
數量龐大。 In vast numbers.
塑料瓶。 Plastic bottles.
- 是的。 - 壓扁的塑料瓶。 - Yes. - Flattened plastic bottle.
是的，但是很多......我們已經 剛剛開車經過那個。 Yes, but plenty... We've just driven over that one.
如果我們發現... 好吧，找到，只是收集。 What if we find... Well, find, just gather.
- 是的，一，二... - 盡可能多的塑料瓶。 - Yeah, one, two... - As many plastic bottles as we can.
那邊有一個。超過 那裡。他們無處不在。 There's one over there. Over there. They're everywhere.
- 這是一個好點。 - 我們建造... - It's a good point. - And we build...
如果我們能得到...做什麼 他們用...看，網。 If we could get... What do they do with... Look, nets.
- 你建議我們買一張漁網。 - 是的。 - You're suggesting we get a fishing net. - Yes.
- 用塑料瓶填充它。 - 是的。 - Fill it with plastic bottles. - Yes.
- 我同意那會浮動。 - 是的。 - I agree that would float. - Yes.
- 然後我們在上面放了一輛車。 - 是的。 - Then we put a car on it. - Yes.
我不同意那會漂浮。 I don't agree that would float.
- 如果你有足夠的瓶子就可以了。 - 確切地。 - It will if you have enough bottles. - Exactly.
這是浮力。 這只是物理學。 It's buoyancy. It's just physics.
這不是一個殘酷和 不可預測的女主人。 It's not a cruel and unpredictable mistress.
不，不是。 No, it isn't.
- 什麼不是？ - 浮力。 - What isn't? - Buoyancy.
- 當然如此。 - 這是阿基米德。 - Of course it is. - It's Archimedes.
被理解為... It's been understood for...
沒有人會被淹死 並不殘酷和不可預測。 Nobody would drown if it wasn't cruel and unpredictable.
- 自古以來就眾所周知... - 是的。 - It's been known since antiquity... - Yes.
而且規則仍然有效。 And the rules still work.
另外，我們也在整理。 Also, we are tidying up.
- 我同意。 - 這是真的。是的。 - That I agree with. - That's true. Yes.
我們要離開這個地方 比我們發現的更好。 We're leaving the place better than we found it.
那麼，在此基礎上， 我們要提示音樂嗎？ On that basis, then, shall we cue the music?
- 嗯嗯。 - 提示音樂。 - Mm-hm. - Cue the music.
這可能非常有用。 That could be very useful.
完美的。 Perfect.
我需要躺下。 I need a lie-down.
不，好嗎？只是 不。我對此不感興趣。 No, all right? Just no. I'm not interested.
哦。哦是的。 Oh. Oh, yes.
花費了數千英鎊 Having spent thousands of pounds
有使用許可 所有這些 A-Team 音樂， on a license to use all that A-Team music,
我們的木筏終於完成了。 our raft was finally completed.
為了看看它是否有效，我們 決定先派出備用貨車。 And to see whether it worked, we decided to send the backup van first.
- 我們吸引了一大群人。 - 是的。 - We've drawn a crowd. - Yes.
期待我們 一切都會被淹沒，我們會的。 Expecting us all to drown, which we will.
- 不，我們不會。 - 我們將。 - No, we won't. - We will.
- 他們會失望的。 - 我們將。 - They'll be disappointed. - We will.
- 克拉克森！ - 什麼？ - Clarkson! - What?
- 一直向後。我那一面好嗎？ - 是的，直接回來。 - Straight back. Am I good that side? - Yeah, straight back.
嘿嘿嘿！ Hey-hey-hey!
正確的。 Right.
現在，嗯，這是我的主意，是嗎？ Now, um, this is my idea, yeah?
所以我是隊長。這次。 So I'm the captain. This time.
呃，工作。有三種。 Uh, jobs. There are three.
我要和貨車一起去。所以 我的工作就是把它從另一邊趕走。 I'm going to be with the van. So my job is drive it off at the other side.
詹姆斯，你在前線。 James, you're on the front.
當我們到達那裡時，你就得到了 讓我們安全地到達銀行。 When we get there, you've got to get us on the bank and safe.
傑裡米，你在操作 電機在後面。 Jeremy, you're operating the motor at the back.
但是，我只是想讓這絕對 清楚，我不相信這會起作用。 But, I just want to make this absolutely clear, I don't believe this will work.
哦，它會起作用的。 Oh, it'll work.
好吧，不，聽著。真誠地、真誠地、 我不想有任何閒聊， Well, no, listen. Genuinely, genuinely, I don't want any cocking around,
因為有一種疾病。 'cause there's a disease.
嗯，這是一種寄生蟲。嗯。 Well, it's a parasite. Um.
血吸蟲病。呃，我們可以 把它放在屏幕底部 Schistosomiasis. Uh, we can put that on the screen at the bottom
你可以用谷歌搜索一下。和 你就會知道這不是我編造的。 and you can Google it. And you'll know I'm not making this up.
在塞內加爾河中， 這個可以嗎？這是一種寄生蟲。 In the Senegal River, which is this, OK? It's a parasite.
如果你到水裡去的話 會附著在你的皮膚上， If you go in the water, it will attach itself to your skin,
深入你的 肉，進入你的血液， burrow through your flesh, into your bloodstream,
它被運送到你的肝臟， 你的腸道，它產卵的地方。 where it is carried to your liver and your intestines, where it lays its eggs.
別跳進去。無論如何 發生了，我們就去那裡。 Don't jump in. Whatever happens, we'll chug across there.
它就在那裡。 看，它就在那裡。 It's only there. Look, it's there.
啟動電機。 Firing up the motor.
HMS Shit 是...啊啊！ HMS Shit is... aargh!
渴望看到 一些喜劇翻船， Eager to see some comedy capsizing,
當地人是 很高興把我們推開。 the locals were happy to push us off.
- 哦是的！ - 本來打算。 - Oh, yes! - We're going.
謝謝！謝謝！ Merci! Merci!
我想如果你可以 當我們出去時轉向我們。 I think if you can turn us when we get out there.
好的。 OK.
打電話的感覺很奇怪 理查德·哈蒙德隊長。 That feels weird, calling Richard Hammond captain.
我會照他說的去做，因為當 出了問題，那不是我的錯。 I shall do as he says, because when it goes wrong, it won't be my fault.
雖然很慢，但它正在繼續。 It's very slow, but it is going.
緩慢且 穩定，這就是我們所需要的。 Slow and steady, that's all we need.
放鬆。 Relax.
一旦我們把它轉過來， 我們會取得更好的進展。 Once we've got it turned, we'll make better headway.
我應該帶一把椅子。 I should have brought a chair.
前線即將轉過來。 The front's coming round.
前面是com... The front is com...
媽的！ Oh, shit!
- 看看你是否可以啟動它。 - 好的，正在嘗試電機。 - See if you can start it. - OK, trying the motor.
呃，夥計們！我們已經失去了... Uh, chaps! We've lost...
- 什麼？ - 沒有什麼。不要恐慌。 - What? - Nothing. Don't panic.
我們失去了什麼？ What have we lost?
嗯，我們已經失去了一些 該死的……瓶子都掉下來了。 Um, we've lost some of the bloody... The bottles have come off.
- 什麼？ - 什麼？ - What? - What?
浮力瓶有 com...我們其實... The buoyancy bottles have com... We are actually...
不，那不像我們 下沉。我們確實是。 No, that isn't like we're sinking. We actually are.
大家都站起來 這邊盡可能遠。 Everybody stand on this side as far out as you can.
- 哦，天啊！ - 誰鞭打那些？ - Oh, Jesus! - Who lashed those on?
呃，傑裡米，它 真的是真的在下沉。 Uh, Jeremy, it really is actually sinking.
- 發動機已啟動。 - 出色的。前往岸邊。 - Engine has begun. - Excellent. Head for shore.
對了，我這就去 試圖讓我們回來，夥計們。 Right, I'm going to try and get us back, chaps.
好吧，我認為你是對的。 讓我們...我們將從中學習。 OK, I think you're right. Let's... We'll learn from this.
怎麼樣 看著另一邊？ How's it looking at the other side?
看上去有點沉了。 It's looking a bit sinky.
我想，我們 我想應該沒問題。 I think, we should be all right, I think.
又沒了！ It's gone again!
哦，耶穌。 Oh, Jesus.
- 嗯。 - 這樣下去嗎... - Um. - Is that going down...
正在進行中 下降得更快。 It's going down much more quickly.
噢，不，不，不，不，不，不，不！ Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
我想可能是棄船了。 I think probably abandon ship.
你能遞給我一瓶水嗎？ Can you pass me a water bottle?
詹姆士！ James!
遞給我一瓶水。 Pass me a water bottle.
那是行不通的。 That's not worked.
- 不，我不相信。 - 我是隊長。混蛋這個。 - No, I don't believe it. - I'm the captain. Bugger this.
- 哈蒙德，你是隊長！ - 對不起！ - Hammond, you're the captain! - I'm sorry!
哦！ Oh!
謝謝。 Thank you.
我沒有……我還在。 I'm not... I'm still on.
詹姆斯，一切都會過去 一路過去。你得走了。 James, it's going to go all the way over. You'll have to go off.
挖洞。 他們正在鑽進我的體內。 Burrowing. They're burrowing into me.
我是約翰·赫特。 I'm John Hurt.
它已經沉沒了 比較...哦，上帝！ It has sunk comp... Oh, God!
- 它走了嗎？ - 它消失了。 - Has it gone? - It's gone.
它消失了。 It's gone.
我很好！ I'm all right!
哈！出色地... Ha! Well...
- 你可以從那裡步行。 - 你可以從那裡步行。 - You can walk from there. - You can walk from there.
嗯，你說的是…… Well, you say that...
但要保持腳步移動 或者你掉進泥裡就會死。 But keep your feet moving or you sink into the mud and it kills.
- 有這麼多糞便嗎？ - 是的，都是糞便。 - There's this much faeces? - Yeah, it is all faeces.
- 而且我已經攝入了... - 很多嗎？ - And I have ingested... - A lot of it?
- 很多。 - 好的。 - A lot of it. - OK.
你只能靠你自己了。 You're on your own.
你要 需要一些抗生素。 You're gonna need some antibiotics.
滿滿的一根大針。 A big needle full.
嗯，我可以指一下嗎 還有別的東西嗎？ Um, can I just point something else out?
我們的貨車丟了。 We've lost our van.
好吧，這很糟糕，但是... OK, that is bad, but...
我們已經收穫夠多了 建造汽車筏的材料。 we've already harvested enough materials to build rafts for the cars.
所以我們還沒有出去。 So we're not out yet.
他在說什麼？ What's he on about?
嗯，還有缺陷 通過這種特別的努力，是的。 Well, there are flaws with that particular effort, yes.
我們知道我們可以 做得更好並且應該。 We know we can do better and shall.
所以一旦你出去了 干了，就只有一件事要做了。 So as soon as you're out and all dried, there's only one thing to do.
不，這是音樂的提示。 No. It's cue the music.
什麼？ What?
- 我們還得過去。 - 我們不在那邊，是嗎？ - We've still got to get across. - We're not over there, are we?
- 我知道你感覺很粗糙。 - 我願意。 - I know you feel rough. - I do.
我知道你已經 63 歲了 你身上全是甲蟲 I know you're 63 and you're full of beetles
- 從你的器官中挖出出路。 - 是的。進入我的肝臟。 - burrowing their way out of your organs. - Yes. Into my liver.
你將會患上慢性病 下周腹瀉。 And you're going to have chronic diarrhoea for the next week.
- 是的。 - 但是那邊有一個酒吧。 - Yes. - But over there is a bar.
- 是的。 - 這裡沒有。 - Yes. - Over here there isn't.
是的。 Yes.
- 我們去那裡。 - 是的。 - We go over there. - Yes.
- 我們在酒吧裡。 - 所以我們說提示音樂。 - We're in the bar. - So we're saying cue the music.
- 是的。 - 提示音樂。 - Yeah. - Cue the music.
第二天，我們準備好了 The next day, we were ready
用於過境2.0。 for border crossing 2.0.
嗯，我們遇到過一些 複雜性，我承認。 Um, we've faced some complexities, I admit.
因為你必須保持領先 顯然，汽車從水中出來。 Because you've got to keep the front of the car out of the water, obviously.
但你必須擁有 後輪剛好在水裡 But you've got to have the back wheels just in the water
因為我們已經 附有槳， because we've attached paddles to them,
像螺旋槳一樣， like propellers,
這將使我們前進 運動或反向運動。 which will give us forward movement or reverse movement.
操舵？ Steering?
嗯，這裡有一個舵 Well, there's a rudder here
它附加到某種 門鏡旁邊的杠桿。 which is attached to a sort of lever by the door mirror there.
那是行不通的。 And that won't work.
詹姆斯和理查德 我認為會的。我認為不會。 James and Richard think it will. I think it won't.
這太棒了。 This is brilliant.
詹姆斯，你認為 這行得通嗎？ James, do you think this is going to work?
詹姆斯，你認為這是嗎？ 去上班？傑裡米在問你。 James, do you think this is going to work? Jeremy's asking you.
- 詹姆斯·梅？ - 什麼？ - James May? - What?
你認為這個 要去上班嗎？ Do you think this is going to work?
什麼？ What?
他這麼老了。 He's so old.
你覺得……這…… 要去……工作嗎？ Do you think... this... is going to... work?
是的。 Yes.
好的，嗯，我要去 搏一搏。進入齒輪狀態。 Right, um, I'm going to give it a go. Going into gear.
渴望看到 昨天的災難重演， Keen to see a repeat of yesterday's calamity,
當地人更是如此 渴望幫助我們前進。 the locals were even more eager to help get us going.
謝謝。 Merci.
謝謝，先生。 謝謝，謝謝，非常溫柔。 Merci, monsieur. Merci, merci, tres gentil.
謝謝。 Merci.
舵展開。 Rudder deploying.
哦，別碰方向盤 你個傻冒。它沒有任何作用。 Oh, don't touch the steering wheel, you idiot. It doesn't do anything.
你好！ Hello!
我所看到的，理查德 哈蒙德，你和 DB9 正在…… What I'm seeing, Richard Hammond, is you and the DB9 on a...
不，不要這樣做， 你這個自私的人。 No, don't do that, you selfish man.
我們的著陸點 塞內加爾一側 Our landing point on the Senegalese side
是一個小海灘 距離僅 400 米。 was a small beach just 400 metres away.
正確的。所以，現在我要走了 執行完美的曲線轉彎。 Right. So, now I'm going to execute a perfect curving turn.
登上登陸海灘， Up onto the landing beach,
開車，展示我的 護照，塞內加爾，啤酒。 drive up, show my passport, Senegal, beer.
但是，我們很快發現 這一次，傑裡米是對的。 However, we soon discovered that for once, Jeremy had been right.
方向盤不起作用。 The steering didn't work.
我無法轉身 左邊。我只能往右走。 I can't turn left. I can only go right.
我什至向左轉 帶有全右舵。 I turn left even with full right rudder.
不會...我的不會 右轉。我只能向左走。 It won't... Mine won't turn right. I can only go left.
我很想能夠 女士們、先生們，解釋一下， I'd love to be able to explain, ladies and gentlemen,
我即將抵達彼岸 I'm arriving at the other side,
但我不是。我到了 回到我開始的地方。 but I'm not. I'm arriving back where I started from.
來吧，你這個混蛋。 Come on, you bastard.
哦，我在蘆葦叢中。 Oh, I'm in the reeds.
勞動節。 Mayday.
胡說。 Bollocks.
全反轉。 Full reverse.
哦！不，你... Oh! No, you...
啊。 Argh.
我們已經建造了腳踏船，不是嗎？ We've built pedalos, haven't we?
是的，但是隨著 背面有很棒的品牌名稱。 Yeah, but with great brand names on the back.
接下來的一個小時，我們航行了 周圍，??設法去任何地方， For the next hour, we sailed around, managing to go everywhere,
除了海灘 我們正前往。 except the beach we were headed for.
我在側邊漂流 錯誤的方向，就是我正在做的事情。 I'm drifting sideways in the wrong direction, is what I'm doing.
我做了什麼 是兩個巨大的掉頭。 What I've done is two enormous U-turns.
當地人認為我們精神錯亂。 The locals think we're deranged.
它帶著我 返回毛裡塔尼亞。 It's taking me back to Mauritania.
我不想去 返回毛裡塔尼亞。 I don't want to go back to Mauritania.
誰能告訴我什麼是 就在這兒，因為那是我要去的地方。 Can anybody tell me what's down here, because that's where I'm going.
海。 The sea.
我完全陷入了困境 我兩側有牆的角落。 I'm completely stuck in a corner with walls on two sides of me.
轉吧，混蛋，轉吧。 Turn, you bastard, turn.
我喜歡她的樣子 剛洗完衣服， I love the way she's just doing her washing,
好像這發生了 每一天。 as though this happens every single day.
哦，該死的 一定不行。不好了。 Oh, bloody hell, no. Oh no.
我的天啊。 Oh, my God.
別再撞我了！ Stop crashing into me!
我又回到蘆葦叢裡了！ I'm back in the reeds!
有人成功了嗎 在任何時候都走正確的路嗎？ Has anybody managed to go the right way at any point?
不。 No.
已獲釋 我自己又從蘆葦叢中出來了， Having freed myself from the reeds again,
我做了一個重要的事情 與轉向相關的發現。 I made an important steering-related discovery.
如果你走得非常慢， 我的意思是，勾選，好吧， If you go incredibly slowly, I mean, tick over, OK,
你可以右轉。 you can turn right.
如果你增加 速度，你向左走。 If you increase speed, you go left.
與我們所有人一起 部署我的新發現， With all of us deploying my new discovery,
我們很快就要出發了 朝著正確的方向。 we were soon heading in the right direction.
哦是的！ Oh, yes!
我會去做的。 我正向岸邊走去。 I am going to do it. I am heading for the shore.
開車，開車！ Drive, drive!
我聞到啤酒味了！ I can smell beer!
作為一個聰明人，我知道我會 需要大量的能量才能上岸。 Being intelligent, I knew I'd need a big burst of power to get ashore.
所以我抬起屋頂來保護 我的頭免受寄生蟲侵害。 So I raised my roof to protect my head from the parasites.
做得好。 Well done.
我已經快到了！ I'm so nearly there!
拜託，就這一次，向左走。 Please, just for once, go left.
哦，我已經去銀行了。 Oh, I've hit the bank.
我們的前輪是 在塞內加爾，這算嗎？ Our front wheels are in Senegal, does that count?
哦，我想我們絕對是 是的，我想我們已經到了塞內加爾。 Oh, I think we're definitely in Senegal, yeah, I think we've arrived.
哇哈哈哈！ Wha-ha-ha!
顯然，有 有工作要做 Obviously, there is work to be done
將這些返回為 普通陸上車輛， returning these to be normal land-based vehicles,
但還有更多的事情 重要的是要首先注意。 but there's something more important to attend to first.
你們兩個對我來說不一樣。 You two are different to me.
我看著那個，我只是 想一想：「噢，多麼偉大的發明啊！」 I look at that and I just think, "Oh, what an invention!"
現在，看著 它，品味它， Now, looking at it, savouring it,
就像喝它一樣令人愉快。 is as enjoyable as drinking it.
看看上面的凝結情況 玻璃杯，看氣泡， Look at the condensation on the glass, look at the bubbles,
看看……細細品味 的期待。 look at the... Savour the anticipation.
嗯嗯。 Mm-hm.
因為在 我的想法是一樣好。 Because in my mind, it's as good.
從視覺上看，這是一個很好的 經驗。聽上去，很煩人。 Visually, this is a good experience. Aurally, it's annoying.
它很煩人？ It's annoying?
我只是看到了美麗， 聽到胡言亂語。 I'm just seeing beauty, hearing bollocks.
顯然，我們 決定擁有多個。 Obviously, we decided to have more than one.
所以，就像哈蒙德一樣 進入下一輪， So, as Hammond was getting the next round in,
我溜到他的車裡 I slipped out to his car
一點點 基於終結者的惡作劇。 for a bit of Terminator-based mischief.
如果我藍牙 我的手機連接到此揚聲器 If I Bluetooth my phone to this speaker
然後把它藏在哈蒙德的車裡 and hide that in Hammond's car,
我可以給他播放消息 他會認為他的車正在和他說話。 I can play messages to him and he'll think his car is talking to him.
第二天早上，我們 重新召集繼續我們的旅程。 The next morning, we reconvened to continue our journey.
正確的。 Right.
出去。滾出去。 Get out. Get out.
- 這是什麼東西？ - 我的車剛剛告訴我下車。 - What the hell was that? - My car just told me to get out.
- 不。 - 它告訴我出去。 - No. - It told me to get out.
我必須承認，我會告訴你 如果我是那輛車的話就出去，但是... I must admit, I'd tell you to get out if I was that car, but...
- 出去。 - 你聽到了嗎？ - Get out. - Do you hear that?
我確實聽到了。 I did hear that.
嗯，這很奇怪，不是嗎？ Well, that is weird, isn't it?
你在它的 那天晚上用電腦嗎？ Were you in its computer the other night?
- 是的。 - 這就是問題所在。 - Yes. - That's what's gone wrong.
我對它有很深的感情。 I was deeply intimate with it.
無論如何，前鋒。 Anyway, forwards.
我就知道！ I knew it!
孩子。 Child.
你好你好。你好。你好。 Hello, hello. Bonjour. Bonjour.
你好。 Bonjour.
塞內加爾。歡迎。 Senegal. Helluva welcome.
我們現在只是情侶 輕鬆抵達終點線一百英里 We were now just a couple of hundred easy miles to the finish line
在達喀爾。 in Dakar.
還有我們史詩般的旅行 快結束了， And with our epic trip this close to the end,
這似乎是一段美好時光 反思機器 it seemed like a good time to reflect on the machines
這把我們帶到了這裡。 that had brought us here.
我們詢問於 這個節目的開始 We asked at the beginning of this show
如果有可能建立一個 拉力賽突襲達喀爾沙漠賽車 if it would be possible to build a rally-raid Dakar desert racer car
價格低於蘭博基尼 胡拉坎·斯特拉托。 for less than a Lamborghini Huracan Sterrato.
答案是肯定的。 And the answer is yes.
是的。 Yes.
我對此感到震驚 車。徹底驚呆了， I'm staggered by this car. Absolutely staggered,
因為它用爪子抓著它 爬上岩石峭壁， 'cause it's clawed its way up rocky escarpments,
已經跨過河流， 它被炸過沙丘。 it's been across rivers, it's blasted across dunes.
與阿斯頓不同的是， 被魔鬼附身， And unlike the Aston, which is possessed by the devil,
和瑪莎拉蒂，在 皮膚，正在脫落， and the Maserati, which, under the skin, is falling to pieces,
這還沒有放一個 單腳錯了。 this has not put a single foot wrong.
我一直很喜歡我們用過的汽車 在過去的這些冒險經歷中， I've been fond of cars we've used on these adventures in the past,
但沒有什麼像 儘管我很喜歡這個。 but nothing like as fond as I am of this.
我會想念它的 當我到達喀爾時，情況很糟糕。 I'm going to miss it badly when I get to Dakar.
真的，真的很懷念。 Really, really miss it.
現在，如果我對你說 一開始「我要採取 Now, if I'd said to you at the beginning "I'm going to take
「來自某個國家的一輛異國情調的汽車 小批量意大利製造商 "an exotic car from a small-volume Italian manufacturer
「我要修改它，我 開著它穿越沙漠，」 "and I'm going to modify it and I'm going to drive it across the desert,"
你可能會有 說：「不，你不是。」 you'd have probably said, "No, you're not."
但我們到了。 But here we are.
它在這裡！ It's here!
在前往達喀爾的途中， On the way to Dakar,
最終點 世界上戲劇性且艱苦的比賽。 the finishing point for the most dramatic and gruelling race in the world.
我們不要忘記，我的到目前為止 三輛車中最好看的， And let's not forget, mine is by far the best-looking of the three cars,
我的是唯一的 現在看起來更好的一個 and mine is the only one that looks better now
比當時 這是標準的。 than it did when it was standard.
我其實已經 改進了原來的。 I've actually improved the original.
優勝者！ Winner!
現在，你可能會想像我會掙扎 提出令人信服的論據 Now, you might imagine I'd struggle to mount a convincing argument
我已經提高了我的 阿斯頓·馬丁 DB9 Volante that I've improved my Aston Martin DB9 Volante
通過把它變成 拉力賽車手，但堅持住。 by turning it into a rally racer, but hold on.
如果我沒有這麼做的話，這輛車就會離開 不變，只是…… If I hadn't done that, this car, left unchanged, would have simply...
繼續生活 在彼得伯勒， continued living in Peterborough,
郊區家之間的通勤 commuting between suburban home
和一個中型的 貿易地產。 and a middle-sized trading estate.
隨著奇怪的旅行 週末去高爾夫俱樂部。 With the odd trip out to the golf club at weekends.
它會保持閃亮和漂亮， 但它本來就會變成這樣， It would have stayed shiny and nice, but it would have become what it is,
這是一個稍微過時的， 慢慢褪色的例子 which is a slightly outdated, slowly fading example
曾經的豪華旅行車。 of a once-grand grand tourer.
通過做我所做的事情， By doing what I've done to it,
我已經能把它拿出來了 來這裡做一些不可思議的事情。 I've been able to bring it out here to do something incredible.
還有那些經歷 現在寫在上面 And those experiences are now written across it
在磨損和擦傷中 以及凹痕和裂縫。 in scuffs and scrapes and dents and cracks.
他們是它的生命線， 它的笑紋就在上面。 They are its lifelines, its laughter-lines on it.
我喜歡它。 And I love it.
我把它做得很特別。它 並不特別。現在它是。 I made it special. It wasn't special. Now it is.
我們到達海岸 聖路易斯小鎮非常美麗 We hit the coast in the surprisingly pretty town of St Louis
轉向南方，奔跑 與大西洋平行。 and turned south, running parallel with the Atlantic Ocean.
這給了我一個想法。 Which gave me an idea.
我們為什麼不去達喀爾 像以前一樣在海灘上？ Why don't we go into Dakar on the beach, like they used to?
在集會上？它是 在海灘上完成。 On the rally? It was finished on the beach.
是的！ Yes!
當然，我的同事們 沒有任何異議。 Naturally, my colleagues had no objections whatsoever.
所以我們轉向沙灘 完成最後 70 英里， So we turned onto the sand to complete the last 70 miles,
正如種族 過去的事已經過去了。 just as the races of the past had done.
增壓器已啟動。 Supercharger engaged.
看那個！ Look at that!
巴黎-達喀爾！這就是結局！ Paris-Dakar! This is the finish!
正是為了這些 人們的時刻 It will be for these exact moments that people
忍受了痛苦並 參加巴黎達喀爾比賽的艱辛。 endured the suffering and hardship of doing the Paris-Dakar.
這就是他們 這樣做是為了。這！ This is what they did it for. This!
我要並肩而行 「倉鼠」理查德·哈蒙德。 I'm going to pull alongside Richard "The Hamster" Hammond.
看這個！我們在海報裡！ Look at this! We're in a poster!
哦謝謝！ Oh, thank you!
從來沒有這麼開心過！ Never had so much fun!
多麼美好、美好的一天。 What a wonderful, wonderful day.
你好。 Hello.
威爾曼先生發來的短信。 Text message from Mr Wilman.
「在進入達喀爾之前，你 可能想檢查你的新聞提要。」 "Before going into Dakar, you might want to check your news feeds."
真的嗎？ Really?
英國廣播公司的新聞。 BBC News.
氣候變化、氣候 變化，氣候變化。 Climate change, climate change, climate change.
洪水、氣候變化。 Floods, climate change.
嘗試推特。 Try Twitter.
哦。 Oh.
噢，天哪。 Oh, Christ.
堅持住。未來。 你為什麼停下來？ Hang on. Coming. Why have you stopped?
你為什麼停下來？ Why have you stopped?
威爾曼剛剛說， 「檢查你的新聞提要。」 Wilman just said, "Check your news feeds."
那是達喀爾。 That's Dakar.
什麼？ What?
達喀爾。有 適當的重大騷亂。 Dakar. There's proper major riots.
已經拉開序幕了 It's kicked off.
哦，天啊。 Oh, geez.
那是關於什麼的？ What's that about?
天知道。它是 一些政治……我不知道。 God knows. It's some political... I don't know.
- 有很多... - 我知道有很多，它是... - There's a lot of... - I know there's a lot, it's...
- 公共汽車正在燃燒...... - 天啊！ - And it's burning buses... - Oh, God!
- 你見過這個嗎？ - 不。 - Have you seen this? - No.
達喀爾。 Dakar.
已經正式啟動了。 有槍戰。 It's properly kicked off. There are gun battles.
還有 火。有一輛公共汽車著火了。 And there's fire. There's a bus on fire.
是的。 Yeah.
嗯...對。 Um... right.
你不能 把船員帶到那裡。 You can't take the crew down there.
不，我知道。沒人……我不 希望有人去那裡。 No, I know. Nobody sh... I don't want anyone going down there.
我的意思是，我知道有 計劃舉行一些抗議活動， I mean, I knew there were some protests planned,
但這就是關於 三四天。 but that's about three or four days.
反對已經過去了，但是 顯然很早就開始了。 It's over that opposition, but it's obviously kicked off early.
- 就是現在。 - 或者這是別的東西。 - That's now. - Or this is something else.
- 現在正在發生。 - 或者它正準備出發， - It's happening now. - Or it's getting ready to go,
這意味著它是 會變得更糟。 which means it's going to get worse.
等一下。 Wait a minute.
我們回家的航班是從達喀爾起飛的。 Our flight home is from Dakar.
這是。 It is.
- 好吧，我們不能那樣做。 - 這不是一個選擇。 - Well, we can't do that. - It's not an option.
- 聖路易斯機場關閉。 - 什麼？ - St Louis Airport's closed. - What?
- 聖路易斯機場關閉。 - 關門了？ - St Louis Airport's closed. - It's closed?
關閉。 翻新。檢查了它。 Closed. Refurbishment. Checked it.
這意味著我們必須 乘車返回努瓦克肖特。 That means we've got to drive back to Nouakchott.
嚴重地？就是它 唯一的選擇？ Seriously? Is that the only option?
好吧，我不會去達喀爾。 Well, I'm not going to Dakar.
來吧，會很有趣的。 Come on, it'll be fun.
這是一場有來有回的反彈。 It's a there and back rally.
好吧，那麼。 Right, then.
這確實意味著一件事。 It does mean one thing.
- 我可以使用傳統的結局。 - 是的。 - I can use the traditional ending. - Yes.
論那可怕的 失望，是時候結束了。 On that terrible disappointment, it's time to end.
下次見。 感謝您的觀看。 See you next time. Thanks for watching.
操……見鬼。 F... ing hell.